God sent a Messenger to a virgin engaged
to a man named Joseph, of the house of David.
The virgins name was Mary.
As he entered the Messenger greeted Mary:
Greetings!
You are beautiful with God’s beauty,
beautiful inside and out,
God be with you.
Mary was confused by these words
and wondered what this could mean,
but the Messenger said:
Mary, you have nothing to fear.
God has a surprise for you;
You will become pregnant
and give birth to a son
and you will name him Jesus
9I say to God, my rock, “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I walk about mournfully because the enemy oppresses me?” 10As with a deadly wound in my body, my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me continually, “Where is your God?” 11Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.
I have to admit I haven’t always lead an exemplary life and the life I have led has been on roads and paths G-d might have preferred me to avoid. Those bumpy roads led me to places where I felt abandoned and alone. But, I have to remember that I choose those roads, I choose to ignore the sacred voice within and live outside of G-d’s love. I choose to be there, even when the event that got me there was none of my doing I still choose NOT to recognize I wasn’t alone. I couldn’t or wouldn’t see G‑d walking beside me every step of the way. I choose to see only darkness; I simply refused to see the luminous darkness that was G-d.
Yes I blamed G-d for all the bad events in my life, isn’t that what every human does? As a human being I saw the worst and assumed the worst. I rolled around in my self-pity, yelling at G-d that life was unfair and therefore G-d either didn’t exist or didn’t care what happened to me. I yelled at G-d telling her “why are you doing this to me, why aren’t you there for me, why am I so alone.” I was so busy trying to run from those comforting arms that I never recognized that it was G-d holding me up, that Jesus was the one helping my broken spirit and that the Holy Spirit was trying to dry my tears. Because I did not recognize G-d I was afraid, so afraid. My bones shook with fear until I thought they would break. I could not see that what happened to me were the consequences I had to experience and live through in order to find my way back to a better place.
It wasn’t until I ran out of tears, ran out of words, until I ran out of myself that I was able to open the door and let you in, G-d. Only then, O Divine One, did I feel your presence and finally rest in your outstretched arms. I was still afraid, but I wasn’t alone any longer. My fear was not as frightening because I knew you were there, and I know it now, in this moment of time I now live.
Why do I put myself through all of that? Why do any of us? Is the struggle to return to you G-d after I have rejected you so important to my understanding of you as unconditional love? Well I think I know the answer to that question and it is yes. Yes it is important to walk through the darkness in order to see the light. Sometimes I have to test my own limits before I learn that you have no limits.
You, Oh G-d, will always welcome me back when I have strayed from your side. I know you are always there in the dark with me but my eyes are blinded by your startling bright light and I cannot see. Because I can’t see I fear you’ve left me to stumble in the darkness. It is only when I regain some hope that you are there, that my eyesight begins to clear. When I choose to hope, I choose you, oh G-d. It is when I choose not to recognize you, there beside me, that I become hopeless and unable to see your glory all around me.
So I will choose hope, I chose you oh G-d, I am choosing you G-d. I have made my choice and I choose to live in your light, your love, your hope. Will I sometimes forget that choice, probably? In some future time I will again fail to see your presence in the dark and you will be there walking right beside me. You will not leave me alone even if I believe you have. But the big difference now is I know you forgive, I know you offer me grace and I will fall into your arms when the tears and words run out and you will comfort me.
O patient G-d I am grateful for your presence, even when I push you away. Grant me my moments of struggle and suffering even though you suffer with me because, in my suffering I discover again your amazing love. Amen
God moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform words by Wm Cowper Picture by NASA
Isaiah 41:17-20
17When the poor and needy seek water,
and there is none,
and their tongue is parched with thirst,
I the Lord will answer them,
I the God of Israel will not forsake them.
18I will open rivers on the bare heights,
and fountains in the midst of the valleys;
I will make the wilderness a pool of water,
and the dry land springs of water.
19I will put in the wilderness the cedar,
the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive;
I will set in the desert the cypress,
the plane and the pine together,
20so that all may see and know,
all may consider and understand,
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
the Holy One of Israel has created it.
Advent, a time of waiting, a gestation time of new beginnings, I have heard those words many times over many Advents. And, while all this waiting is important I have a confession to make, I hate waiting! Yes, my impatience frequently gets me into trouble, with G-d and with those around me. I begin before the preparation has been completed and my task, while not a total failure, does not live up to its potential. Patience is not one of the gifts G-d has seen fit to give me. It is something I have been trying to learn for 66 years and I am still not very good at it.
I admit to being one of those thirsty people in the desert who wants to have water and I want now! If I had been with the Israelites in the Sinai I would have marched right up to Moses and said “I’m thirsty, I need water and I need it now!” And I am sure Moses would have looked at me with a jaundiced eye and said “get a grip; learn some patience for crying out loud. You are out of Egypt so be grateful for what you have and quite complaining!” Yep that would have been me hearing those words. Yet in Isaiah we hear that G-d will provide water and more to those who are poor and in need and it is not lost on me that G-d came through with food and water during the Exodus. So yes I do believe G-d, in Her own good Time and Way, will provide.
The key to this waiting is “in Her own good Time and Way” G-d will offer the drink and food we need and it’s always in that perfect moment. The moment when we not only need it the most but the moment when we are open the widest for hearing G-d’s voice speak the Word we so desperately thirst and hunger for.
For the last two and half years I have been in my own time of Advent, walking in a wilderness of my own making as I waited for G-d to give me a Word I could respond to about where my ministry would take me. And in that time there have been many impatient moments. Many times I have tried to hurry G‑d. I have tried to guess what She will speak and tried starting a task with no direction from Her. It rarely works out because you cannot hurry G-d. G-d will speak when the time is right, when my heart is open the widest to hear G-d speak and not before.
Through out this time G-d has been allowing a ministry to begin gestating within me. To grow in concept piece by piece, step by step while at the same time letting G-d open me up to whom I am and who She is. I am learning that G‑d is my greatest counselor, friend, lover, supporter, confidant, comforter, and confessor. All I have to do is live a life that puts G-d first, keep our relationship strong and allowing the counselor, friend, lover, supporter, confidant, comforter, and confessor work through me in a working partnership with Her.
It seems as if it would be easy to do what G-d asks of us doesn’t it? But it is not. Ask the Israelites how hard it was to follow the path G-d laid before them. Ask the disciples how hard it was to walk the path Jesus laid before them. Each one will tell you it is not easy. Yes G-d will provide for the poor and needy but verse 41:20 of Isaiah says it best. We are to “… see and know … consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it.” We fail hopelessly in that understanding. All too often we take G-d’s handiwork for granted and do not see what the Lord does for us. I, just like the rest of the human race, all too often think we are entitled to the abundance we see around us. We forget just where and who it comes from, where and from whom we come from. It has taken me a life time to understand in a small way the meaning of verse 20. And, it has only been in the last year and half that I have worked hardest to be patient and to let G-d speak when She is ready and not me.
And now G-d is bringing me closer to an understanding of what my role as Her partner will be. And, somehow I feel it is appropriate that G-d picked Advent for this to happen, the time for me to begin to feel the movement of a baby ministry within me. I am excited and scared about bringing into reality this ministry of my very own. It takes courage for me to step out and claim my role as G-d partner a courage I do not always have. I have many fears; will I be worthy of G-ds trust, will I hurry this up and as a result rush to completion what needed time to grow, will I give up saying “sorry G-d this to hard for me,” will I simply not be enough for the task. There are so many fears, so much excitement, and so many hopes. The future I do not know, only G-d does, so I will keep waiting, and listening, and moving with G-d’s time and moments. Patience is really hard but I continue to learn to lean into the open arms and let G-d teach me.
This Week’s Spiritual Practice
Do you have something waiting to emerge from you? Waiting is hard (just ask any 4 year old) but it can be done. So this week I simply ask that each day you find yourself a quiet place and sit in silence for 5 to 20 minutes. Listen for a Word from G-d. It might be a Word about doing something, or it might be G-d whispering “I love you.” Just remember whatever happens let it happen in G-d’s time not yours and be grateful for the time spent with G-d.
1-2 On your feet now—applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
3 Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn’t make him.
We’re his people, his well-tended sheep.
4 Enter with the password: “Thank you!”
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.
5 For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
This past Sunday at Queen Anne Christian Church, we celebrated in song, word, prayer Thanksgiving. We also decorated the church for Advent, which starts next Sunday. And we have a new and tasty tradition at Queen Anne; the kids decorate gingerbread houses, while the parents enviously look on. Cherry S is a baker first class and she makes the gingerbread, puts together the houses, parents bring the candy for decorating and then we turn our budding artists loose. I must say they have a great time and the houses look wonderful.
As I sat and watched the kids, took video and a few pictures I couldn’t help but think about the worship service. The Scripture was Psalm 100 and Pastor Laurie’s reading from The Message gave me much to think about. First of all Psalm 100 was my father’s favorite and it was read, from the King James Version (KJV), at the beginning of every Thanksgiving meal in our house. But when I heard Pastor Laurie’s reading I was struck by the joy and celebration that resides in this Psalm that I hadn’t heard before. I felt the celebration inherent in this Psalm. However the words in Verse 4 jolted me upright. “4 Enter with the password: “Thank You!” Make yourselves at home, talking praise, Thank him. Worship him.” I thought what you have to have a password to enter G-ds presence, is not my gratitude and thanks enough, now I have to know a password. Well it is a simple password, and one I learned to use when I was a child. Still I have to say “thank you” to enter into G-d’s home! Why would G-d want my gratitude?
What does it mean to acknowledge your gratitude, out loud, and/or in writing? Well the expression is a witnessed event; people hear or read of your gratitude. They learn you are capable of good will by acknowledging the works of others. They in turn are blessed with your gratitude and that encourages them to also wish to express their thanks for their blessings. One person expresses thanksgiving for a small act of kindness, and the recipient, or someone who observes it is then empowered to offer their thanks to someone else and the boundary of the circle of kindness extends into infinity.
You might think saying thank you for a job well done, or a gift, does little to help you or anyone else, but you’d be wrong. Remembering your blessings grows an “attitude of gratitude” within all that you do throughout your life. In the late 1940’s Bing Crosby sang a simple song in the move “White Christmas,” Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep, and for many years it was a popular tune. The premise is an easy one to remember, counting your blessings is more productive than counting all the wrongs you’ve received. In fact once you begin counting you discover that the hurts and wrongs far fewer than blessings.
For me I have all too often let anger and resentment cloud my vision preventing me from counting my blessings and that has resulted in some very unpleasant times in my life. One of the spiritual practices I have been doing on my life journey is to change that pattern of behavior. Now every morning I offer a gratitude to the Divine Spirit before I even get out of bed to start my busy day. And every evening I end my day with a review of the blessings I received during the day. It has made my life much more joyful and I am now more likely to see the face of the Divine in all that I do. So I have two questions for you to ponder this week:
1. What gets in your way of expressing gratitude? And . . .
2. Have you counted your blessings lately?
It is a joyful practice to count your blessings and say thank you. It is not really a password; it’s a way of life, to live in gratitude for the blessings we receive day in and day out, offering our lives as a blessing to those around us. Can you imagine the kind of world we’d live if everyone just counted their blessings?
So my gratitude for this Tuesday Morning is that I am grateful for the ability to write to each of you, I am grateful for the blessings I’ve received from my loving husband and family. I am grateful for the comforting presence of my companion animals, the fur kids Fred and Suzie, and the feathered kids Cuddles and George. And I am simply grateful for my life, for being alive today, at this moment. May all of you remember all of your blessings this week.
Yesterday seemed like a perfect day to read poetry. The rain was coming down, the wind was blowing, Suzie was snuggled in my lap so I opened up two of my favorite books of poetry, Thirst by Mary Oliver,[1] and a book of Celtic prayers collected by Alexander Carmichael titled New Moon of the Seasons, Prayers from the Highlands and Islands.[2] A poem of Mary Oliver’s and a prayer collected by Alexander Carmichael struck me as I read them. The first was a Celtic Prayer:
The Three
The Three who are over me,
The Three Who are below me,
The Three Who are above me here,
The Three Who are above me yonder;
The Three Who are in the earth,
The Three Who are in the air,
The Three Who are in the heaven,
The Three Who are in the great pouring sea
The Celtic people lived close to land and they cherished it as a gift from G-d. They saw the creator in every plant and animal and rock. They saw the grace of G-d in rain and snow, the roar of the sea and in the breath of spring air. This simple prayer is an acknowledgment that G-d, Christ, and the Holy Spirit surround them. G-d wasn’t “out there” looking down at them, no G-d was surrounded them in grace and blessings of many shapes and colors. As I watch the rain fall outside my window and feel Suzie’s warm breathing in my lap I understood what this prayer of gratitude meant to fisherman, a farmer, a mother tending the hearth. G-d is here, now, with me, with you, with us all. For the Celts and for us today G-d lives beside and within each of us.
Mary Oliver’s poem Praying is a lovely companion to the Celtic prayer. Praying reminds us that prayer doesn’t have to be framed with elaborate words. Prays really happen in those moments when your mind has no words so your heart speaks. Some of the greatest prayers are never written down; simple words of gratitude for the healing of a friend, or gasp of awe at the beauty of a sunrise, or joy of a laughing child are beloved prayers of the heart. Here is;
Praying
by Mary Oliver
It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just pay attention, then patch
a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway
into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.
I invite you to read the Celtic prayer, and Mary Oliver’s poem. Look around you; do you see the work of G-d, Christ, and Holy Spirit in the everyday living of your life? Where does your heart speak when your mind has no words? Let the simple words of gratitude, sorrow, or joy shaped in your heart form the bases for a prayer that speaks to the Divine that walks beside you. May the all surrounding presence of The Three be your comforter in times of crises and dance with them when joy rings in heart.
[2] Alexander Carmichael; New Moon of the Seasons, Prayers from the Highlands and Islands, Floris Books, Edinburgh, Scotland, Great Britain, 1986, pg 74
Last week John and I took a train ride to Vancouver, BC and while we hoped for some sun it was even cloudier there that at home. As we walked through Stanley Park I was afraid all my pictures would be gray and drab and then I saw this one. Yes, if the day had been bright and sunny I suppose this picture would have been brighter. But, the trees in their autumn finery reflecting in the pool made a light all their own. I just had to “open” my eyes to see it.
Today for Prayerful Tuesday I am inviting you to open your eyes and open your hearts and minds as we practice Visio Divina using the above picture. There is no set time frame for the guided prayer, but I do suggest at least 15 minutes and up to thirty minutes.
As your prayer begins, take a few moments to open your heart and mind to God.
When you are ready, slowly look and notice the image, taking your time to let feelings and thoughts come to you as you take in forms, colors, lines, textures, and shapes.
What does it look like, or remind you of?
What do you find yourself drawn to?
What do you like and not like?
What are your initial thoughts?
What feelings are evoked?
At this point in your prayer simply notice your responses without judgment or evaluation. If you don’t like the image, or the feelings it evokes, notice that this is your initial response and continue to stay open to the image and the prayer.
If you have an immediate idea as to what the image means, again, simply acknowledge that this is your initial response and stay open to “the more” as the prayer unfolds.
As you expand your prayer, return to the image with an open heart and mind. What new thoughts, meanings, and/or feelings arise for you; what initial impressions have expanded deepened.
Explore more fully the meanings that have risen up within you, and the feelings associated with the image and its colors and forms.
Be aware of any assumptions or expectations you bring to the image. No how you responded to the image — delight, disgust, indifference, confusion — prayerfully ponder the reason for your various responses and what they might mean for you.
As you go deeper into your prayer, open yourself to what the image might reveal to you.
What does it and the Holy Spirit want to say, evoke, make known, or express to you as you attend to it in quiet meditation?
Become aware of your feelings, thoughts, desires, and meanings brought up by the image: how they are directly connected to your life.
Does the image hold an important meaning or value for you: does it remind you of an important event or season, or suggest a new or different way of being?
What desires and longings are evoked in your prayer?
How do you find yourself wanting to respond to what you are experiencing?
Offer a prayer to G-d in ways that the image evokes: gratitude, supplication, wonder, lament, confession, dance, song, praise, etc.
As bring your prayer to close, bring to mind or jot down in a journal (whatever way is most helpful for you) the insights you want to remember, any actions you are invited to take, wisdom you hope to embody, or any feelings or thoughts you wish to express and remember.
Close your prayer by resting for a moment in God’s grace and love. May you see with newly open eyes, heart and mind many new images of G-d in the coming week.
These past two week have been difficult. There are wildfires again in Australia, cyclones in the India, conflict in Chile, an early winter storm in Colorado, and the unwillingness of our government to govern, to name just a few. All of these crises make my unhappiness with the gloomy skies that have settled over western Washington for more than a week seem pretty puny in comparison.
As I was praying about what to write for today I honestly couldn’t offer anything better than what Jesus gave his disciples when they asked him “teach us to pray.” You see sometimes all you can do is pray, and when I can’t find the words I remember what my father always told me; “Ruth, you don’t have to say anything, G-d knows what’s in your heart, just sit and let your heart speak.”
So this week with no words to describe our hearts ache I ask that each of you to take five minutes out of your day and just sit, letting your heart speak. If you wish you may end with the prayer Jesus taught his disciples so long ago. Below is an English translation from the Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke, of the Lord’s Prayer. In addition I have included a link to a beautiful singing of the Lord’s Prayer in Aramaic From the album, Sacred Ragas, by IndiaJiva. May you draw comfort from the Lord’s blessing and may they bless your day and coming week.
Shalom, Ruth Jewell
The Lord’s Prayer
(An English transliteration from the original Aramaic of Jesus)
O Breathing Life, your Name shines everywhere!
Release a space to plant your Presence here
Envision your “I can” now
Embody your desire in every light and form.
Grow through us this moment’s bread and insight.
Untie the knots of failure binding us,
as we release the strands we hold of others’ faults
Help us not forget our Source.
Yet free us from (all unripeness) of not being in the Present.
From you arises every Vision, Power, and Song
From gathering to gathering
In the past month I have begun the InterPlay Life Practice Course. For those of you who have never heard of InterPlay I can only described it as a time to play with my body/spirit/heart/mind all at the same time and it is a blast! Of course the founders of InterPlay have a much longer definition, that in brief, is a system and practice that allows you to lean slowly at your own pace to love being an embodied being by bringing into one whole Mind/Body/Spirit/Heart. But for me the term “it’s a blast” works best. (If any of you are interested in the longer definition please visit http://www.interplay.org and there you will find all kinds of information and also where you might find an InterPlay play group of your very own.) Within my small community of new friends and playmates I am discovering what it means to free myself from the confines of “ought and should” for the openness of the possible within me and I find it extremely freeing and uplifting. In the freedom to dance and song, alone and in community I am discovering a new me. Well not really a new me rather let me say the real me, the one who laughs, and sings, and dances, and prays, and cry’s and morns, and laments, and worries, and creates, and brings to fruition all of the pieces that make up the being I am, in this body, in this place in time, the real Ruth is beginning to step forward. My steps are tentative and small right now, but I am hopeful that in the very near future they will become leaps and bounds of joy.
I realize all of this probably makes little sense to all of you, heck it still isn’t making much sense to me. But I hope that in the coming months I will be able to clarify the joy I am feeling and be able to share just a little with you. I realize I can’t just give you my experience, but maybe I will be able to open the door for one or two of you, inviting you into a space where you too may explore your true being. It might not be with InterPlay, it might be in some other way that allows you to open your being to new light, and I hope you will share that with us here at the Begin Again, Cloaked Monk blog, or here on my blog, A Quiet Walk.
So, today as a way to begin anew, I invite you to join me in a body prayer for morning:
1. I invite you to stand, if you are able to, if you are near a window or have access to the outside that would be wonderful, but not necessary.
2. Stand for a moment and breathe deeply, taking air in and letting it out slowly.
3. Now take another breath, this time noticing how cool the air is as it enters your lungs and how warm it is when you exhale.
4. Take a third breath and follow it into your lungs, noticing how your lungs expand to hold the fresh air. Imagine that you are seeing the exchange of oxygen that fuels your body for the waste product of carbon dioxide. Let yourself find joy in the workings of your body.
5. Now raise both hands to your chest placing them palm to palm in a prayer position. As you do so offer a prayer of thanksgiving for your health and well being.
6. Now raise your arms up over your head, stretching out to reach for the sky and offer a prayer of supplication for someone who lies on your heart.
7. Lower your arms and return your hands to a praying position. Bend head, and/or body, slightly and offer the following, “may the peace of the Holy Spirit be with me and those I love this day, Namaste.”
8. Stand still for just a moment to allow yourself to return to your day.
And so my prayer for all of you this day is; “May the peace of the Holy Spirit be with each and every one of you this day, Namaste.”
Luke 24:30-31a When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him;
[This was my Spiritual Practice offering this week for Prayerful Tuesday on the Cloaked Monk Blog]
I attended the 2013 Turner Lectures in Yakima this week and the focus of study was the Road to Emmaus. I have always been struck by the above words of Luke. The disciples recognized Jesus “in the breaking of the bread,” . . . a simple act, an everyday act! And, just like Cleopas and his friend, it is in the sharing of a common meal that Jesus becomes real to us. Not s special meal, rather an everyday meal where you sit down with family and friends, inviting the stranger into your close community. What a marvelous way to remember the one who always invites us to sit down and join him in a cup of tea, mug of beer, or maybe a nice glass of wine. Today when you go on your break, or maybe for lunch, look around you who would you never think to invite into your circle? Consider asking that person to join you, for in the encounter with the stranger you may just receive Jesus without knowing it.
The table is set
The food prepared
Who will come
Who will break the bread
Who will.pour the cup
Stranger, friend
Both are welcome
Poor, rich, healthy, ill
I call all to the feast
Come sing, laugh
With the joy of each other
So what if we sometimes
Disagree. Today
We sit at the table
And share a meal.
Grace in abundance
Poured out and
Running over.
October 1, 2013, the heading in the paper read, “GOV SHUTDOWN.” Today is Prayerful Tuesday and right now I am not feeling very prayerful, angry, frustrated but not prayerful. I want to run to Washington DC and ask our elected representatives what are you thinking, to shout angry words at them, I want to right them angry letters, I want to tell them there are more people in our country that need the Affordable Care Act than they are willing to poll or listen to. I want to … “sigh” … I don’t know what I want.
Prayer, how will prayer get me, all of us, through this time of crisis? Well, prayer offers us a time to look within and discover that even in the greatest of trials we are not alone. Even when we feel completely abandoned the Divine Spirit surrounds us and guides, all we have to do is to take a deep breath, wait, and listen. It is in the stillness of our hearts that our fears are known, our anger is known, and our guilt is known. John Phillip Newell wrote the following chant for Chanting For Peace (CD available from http://www.materialmedia.net):
Wait, wait, wait for God.
Wait, wait, wait for God.
Be strong and let your heart take courage.
Be strong and let your heart take courage.
Wait, wait, wait for God.
Waiting is hard, listening is even harder and sometimes I don’t know if I am up to it. To my regret I am all too often rash in speech and action. But Peace, Prayer, waiting, listening before I open my mouth or put to paper is what I am called to do. So today I offer this prayer”
A Psalm for Peace
Oh LORD, I wait upon you;
in this time of sorrow hear my cry.
My plea for my people is a just one,
for they are being assaulted by
those who would rob them
of peace and comfort.
Deliver us from our enemies,
who surround us, granting us
courage and strength of heart and being
to stand and speak your words of peace and justice.
Our world calls upon you, O GOD,
for we know you will answer us.
May we behold your face and feel your love
reflected in the face of our brothers and sisters,
in the morning light, the evening star,
the living earth and breathing sea.
May we, O LORD, Great Creator of all,
be the light that shines out and
brings peace to our hearts and world.
A Quiet Walk 