I’m Afraid

I’m Afraid

I must tell you I am afraid. Afraid of what will happen if the Orange Butt Hole wins, afraid of what will happen if he will not accept the results if he doesn’t.  I am afraid of the Orange Butt Hole’s supporters if Biden wins. Afraid of what they will do because they are lost souls who have put their trust in a soulless person.

We have always had people who have been outside of society, who have turned away from justice or kindness. But in general the people of this country have recognized them as outliers of civilization and have not placed them in positions of power. Twenty-five to 30 years ago we started electing soulless men who were only greedy for power and that has led us to a crossroad, the same crossroad Germany faced in the 1920’s.  So yes, I am afraid, I am afraid we are headed towards a Nazi run country.

Yes, I know calling Donald Trump an Orange Butt Hole is offensive, so is calling him a soulless person.  But there is an old saying that says every time you do evil you kill a piece of your soul.  Well Trump has done so much evil that I do not think he has a soul left. His greatest evil is taking the souls of his supporters and using them to terrorize the people of this country. Turning our country into a place where fear, partisanship, racism, classism, and hatred for anyone not heterosexual, male or white becomes the rule and not the exception.

How we vote will determine if we can regain the soul of this country.  How we act following election day on November 3rd will determine if we will keep that soul. I am praying, hoping, and wishing, I have my fingers and toes crossed that those of us who desire justice will stand up for it on November 4th. Let us join together not to keep hate king, but to send it out of this country.  Let us join together to bring back honesty, compassion, and justice from the liars, the greedy, the political fiends who would see only the rich survive and let the rest of the country die.

Can we do that?  Can we be better than what we have seen in the last 4 years of the Orange Butt Holes administration?

Ruth Jewell, ©October 29, 2020 

How Do I …

How do I put into words
A grief so deep
It scalds my heart?

How does
This soul so lonely say
I miss you?

You are my love, and
You are drifting away
Bit by bit I am losing you.

Some days you are you, and
Some days a little more
Is gone.

I want to tell you
To stay, don’t go, but
You don’t understand.

I love you,
I always will,
And I miss you.

How do I put into words
A grief so deep
It scalds my heart?

Ruth Jewell, ©May 4, 2020

Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth PS 66.1

Photo from the Clergy Coaching Network, September 23, 2019

I wonder if one of religions biggest difficulty is that we cannot respond to joy. We remember and celebrate our failures but do not remember or celebrate our successes. In the Hebrew bible it is the battles that are recorded not the moments of peace. In the Christian New Testament, it is the pain and sorrow that is highlighted not the holding of a child or the details of the wedding.  We live a joyless faith.

Yes, there are moments in scripture where joy can be found but if you stack them up against the moments of violence you will discover that violence tips the scale.  In Christianity the most important holiday is Easter, the resurrection, but it is Maundy Thursday, and “Good” Friday that receives the press. The return of Jesus must have been incredibly wonderful, people must have been overjoyed. But that is not what we hear.

 Why are the happy times, the good times not news? Today the only things on news shows of any kind are who killed who, who challenges who for power, who hates who.  That is not the world I want to live in, but it appears that is the world we have created from the very beginning.

Violence seems to be hardwired into who we are. Our earliest ancestors survived on meat killed by their own hand or by other predators. I get that, I understand the need to eat and feed our families, but there is always a but isn’t there, the vast majority of humans don’t need to kill to eat. Most of us can go down to the local market and get what we need.  Yes, food inequality exists, and it does so because we have people who feel they are the only ones and “hoard” resources.  There are enough resources on this planet to feed every man, woman, and child without letting anyone suffer, or go hungry.

We have that inequality because we have people who claim ownership to more than they need and we have others who will fight, even kill, to get their share. Not a pretty picture of humanity, the supposed children of God. The prophets, Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammad all tried to change us from petty, hording, selfish people. We haven’t listened, we continue to be selfish, we continue to champion and celebrate hate and violence, and we continue to destroy the planet we live on for our selfish, violent ends.  

But, again with the but, If, just if, we imagined a world where violence didn’t exist what would it look like? What if we celebrated the joy of life lived with each other, what if we celebrated the joy of living on a planet that is amazingly beautiful and filled with joy? How would that world look like, what would we look like? What would our communities look like? You know I can’t imagine it because I have no words for that kind of joy, that kind of celebration, that kind of love. Imagination doesn’t need a written word, but it does need visual ones and within our human existence there are no words, visual or written, that can describe that kind of life. That makes me sad, very sad.

So much of our lives are made up of survival, of protecting ourselves from what is outside our door that we have forgotten life in the “Garden” where fear and hate and struggle were unknown.  I hope we never make it to the stars or find people on other planets because we in our infinitely violent, stupid, selfish ways would destroy them.

All of this doesn’t mean we should stop recognizing suffering and be modern day Pollyanna’s. No that isn’t what this all about, rather it’s about ignoring the good in this world, pushing it aside to revel in sorrow, in violence, in pain, and in hate.  When we push joy aside and only focus on the non-joy (is that a word?) we make our lives smaller and we choose to live lives that are less significant.

We are approaching what should be a time of great joy in the Church calendar. Advent and Christmas should be a time filled with joy of anticipation of new life. We should be celebrating what will come from welcoming the joy of the Eternal Holy Spirits gifts. We won’t though will we? I have grown to hate Advent and Christmas because I see too much selfishness, a selfishness that locks out most of the world’s poor from a share in that joy. At this time of the year we share with those less privileged and then forget about them for the rest of the year. At this time of the year we give, often abundantly, not as an act of grace, but to clean our souls. Jesus taught the joy of giving from our abundance was supposed to happen all year long, every day, every hour. Somehow, we’ve forgotten that.

We humans are the youngest of the species on this planet and unless we change how we view the world we will not survive to be the oldest, and we will take the rest of creation with us.  I hope that will not be the legacy of the sad, strange species called Homo sapiens, sapiens, my fear is it will be.

Ruth Jewell, ©September 23, 2019

A Heart Conversation

In the morning dark,
In stillness, in solitude,
I wait for you, O God.

Your breath touches my Cheek
Time stands still as I sit
Resting in your presence.

My heart speaks of fear, of loss,
My soul cries because
All has gone wrong.

Your presence comforts me,
You take my pain,
My sorrow, and my tears.

As dawn’s light returns
My heart leaps, my soul breaths anew
I am not alone for you stand with me.

Ruth Jewell, ©July 31, 2019
Image: Kauai, Hi, 2017, ©Ruth Jewell

Grief

Tiko Giorgadz, unsplash

She sat in the corner
eyes dry, there are no more tears
her heart ached for her baby boy
the world so bright now dark
“my baby, my son”

“A sword will pierce your soul,” he said
he came to die they said
but, . . . .
I carried him under my heart
I cradled him in  my arms
he was my son, my first born

~Ruth Jewell, ©April 20, 2019

It Is Time

I have reached my limit for lies, hate, and violence.  I have reached my limit for the whining of so-called “men with fragile masculinity” who can’t accept women having just as much right to succeed at work and leadership as they do. I have reached my limit for white men, and women, who think they are the only ones who have rights and privileges. I have also reached my limit for “so called evangelical Christians” who have hijacked my faith to feed their power, position, and greed.

I am disgusted with the so-called Christians who deny services to people who are LGBQ, they refuse to welcome the immigrant, or care for the hungry, homeless, or ill. They profess to be “Pro-Life” but don’t support child health care programs or food programs to keep children healthy, which has led to an infant mortality rate in the US that is 19th out of the 20 wealthiest countries. (CNN: Among 20 wealthy nations, US child mortality ranks worst, study finds, By Jacqueline Howard, January 8, 2018) All practices taught by Jesus of Nazareth.

Despite what they call themselves the evangelicals they have nothing in common with the carpenter from Nazareth.  And, it is time we stopped them from using the title of Christianity to promote laws removing safeguards for the most vulnerable in our country. It is time to stop people, like Donald Trump and Mitch McConnel, from using religion as an excuse to hord the wealth of our country as they seek to persecute the poor, immigrants, people of color and push middle income Americans into poverty.

It is time to take back the moral high ground from people who have no morals.  Lying, bigotry, hate, greed, and selfishness have no place in our country where there are enough resources to care for all. Providing for the welfare of our citizens is mandated in our constitution and in the scriptures of every major religion. To do otherwise is a crime against humanity, a crime against the Divine.

I have had it with the lies and false information coming out of the mouths of elected officials. I am tired of their denial of climate change, their love of firearms, and their refusal to accept firearm regulations. I am tired of destructive international polices and the relations with dictators that has put our country at risk. I am tired of people who manipulate our political and legal systems in order to fill their pockets with money they don’t need and satisfy the need for power.  I am tired of the theft of our electoral systems to consolidate power and money in the hands of the few. All of it done with the approval of evangelicals.  I am tired of . . .  all of it. 

As a Christian, a person who follows the teachings of Jesus, I can no longer stand by and not speak out.  Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes:

“When societies grow affluent, when the burden of law-abidingness falls on the state and institutions, when people define right and wrong in terms of externalities – punishments and rewards – and in terms of what other people do and are seen to get away with . . . on immediate benefits not long-term sustainability, then society begins to erode from within and there is little anyone can do to halt it.” (The Great Partnership, Schocken Books, New York, 2011, pg 161)

Faith has traditionally held our society in a cohesive unit. Whether or not people attend or claim a religious background the basic rules of a civilized society that are learned and kept comes from religious practices. The ideas of right vs wrong, that might does not make right, that it is better for everyone when all people have what they need to survive and thrive are lessons learned and kept.

Our country once had the reputation for altruism. While we have never had or needed a state religion, we still helped those in need of shelter, food, health care, clothing, all without the expectation of return. Individuals and in concert with our elected bodies we helped people.  We provided a beacon of giving light in a world where there were men who wanted to extinguish that light. Compassion, mercy, and kindness were traits we valued in our society.  So, what happened to us? I have asked myself that question many times and I have no answers. I am sure the “experts” have one, but, I do not. What I do know is the only ones who can put a stop to the madness sweeping America, is us.

 “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)

Speaking out is an obligation, a duty, of being a Christian, as are all members of Judeo/Christian/Islamic faith, when injustice occurs. Speaking through Prophets, God repeatedly extoled the Hebrew people to care for the widow, young, elderly, and the ill, and welcome the stranger. Through the prophet Micah, God tells the people of Judah:

Jesus also tells us

34 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? 38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ 40 And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:34-40)

Such lessons from our faith are being twisted by people we normally would trust, our own leaders, nation, state, and local. Instead of honoring the commands of God, and Jesus, they have assimilated the values of ancient Romans and Greeks who held self interest as the most valuable ideal. For today’s leaders the ideals of compassion, mercy, and justice only applies to them.  Their actions display anti‑Christian beliefs so why do allow them to demean our faith, our good name. 

It is time to call them out, for Christians to standup and speak out about their abuses. We have been way too silent, letting people like Paul Ryan claim to be a good Christian while working to dismantle all of the work of the last 50 years to support the welfare of Americans. Donald Trump proudly tells his thuggish supporters to beat up, and attack those who he doesn’t agree with, where in scripture do you find that?

Because of people like Mitch McConnell, and Donald Trump who favor racist, bigoted, and violent speech there has been a loosening of violence across this country. More people are afraid of those who follow these people than they do ISIS! I am not saying to copy the actions of the followers of Trump or GOP, no, there are ways to resist them that are not violent or contrary to the teachings of scripture. 

  1. Do not endorse, by your silence, racist, bigoted, violent, or abusive religious statements.  Speak up and demand it to stop.
  2. Become involved in some way with the Poor Peoples Campaign, https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org/.  This is a National Call for Moral Revival uniting tens of thousands of people across the country to challenge the evils of systemic racism, poverty, the war economy, ecological devastation and the nation’s distorted morality.  This is a non-violent group that provides many avenues and opportunities to challenge those who would destroy us.
  3. Identify Anti-Racist groups and organizations in your local area and work to change our communities
  4. Write, e-mail, or phone your congressmen, senators, state and local representatives that racial discrimination, bigotry, and violence must end.
  5. Write letters to the editors
  6. Do as I am right now writing a blog.
  7. Last but not the least (and this may be the most powerful) use social media to support anti-racism, anti-bigotry, anti-violence in speech and actions.

There is something for everyone to do to resist and challenge those who would see the end of the United States.  We must never become a dictatorship, we must repel the tyranny of the religious few who have desecrated the name of Jesus and of our Judeo/Christian/Islamic God. Only we can do this.  The fate of who governs this country, what we will believe is in our hands no one else’s.

Ruth Jewell, © February 14, 2019

Meditation on Psalm 81

You heard me when I called, . . . and
You caught me as I fell
I rested in your arms as
You carried me from darkness into light

You dried my tears, and
You lifted my fears from my shoulders
I leaned upon your breast, . . . and
I heard you call me beloved

Even when I ignore you
You do not abandon me
Even when I walk away
You wait for me to return

I do not deserve your love, . . . yet
I choose to accept or refuse,
then . . .
I hear you call me beloved

Ruth Jewell, ©July 28, 2017

A Small, Sad, Little Man

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, Virginia December 2, 2015. Salon.com

 

I have a confession to make, I pity Donald Trump.  I have gone through several stages regarding “the Donald” in the last few years, from repulsion to dislike, to anger, to downright hate.  But in the last couple of days I have surprised myself by realizing I simply pity a sad little man.  A small, sad, unlikable man who wants to be liked.  Yes, I have compassion for this spoiled, paranoid, mentally ill man who has gotten himself into a position he has no idea how to handle and has put us all at risk.  That surprised me.

I have taught tolerance and compassion on this page for several years and now I realize that I need to practice what I teach.  Despite his sexual misconduct, his spoiled little rich boy tantrums, his lies, his bully boy swagger I am called to love this man. Not like, and certainly not support, his behavior or his lies, but, love as Jesus of Nazareth in the Gospels would.  Not the love being taught by those who pervert the Gospel, and there are too many of those in the press right now, but with compassion for someone who is in mental pain, and ill.  I am called to understand that this small little man is unable to understand what being a human being entails because he was never taught how to be a human being.  His examples in life were as broken as he is and he has perpetuated that brokenness within his own family.  That is sad.

Now, Donald Trump is not an easy person to have compassion for.  His mental illness keeps him from recognizing how much damage his lies and actions cause.  His self-centeredness and ego keep him focused only on himself and that prevents him from seeing the world around him as worthwhile and valued, unless it is feeding him.  Unfortunately, he has landed himself in a position he doesn’t understand, making him easily manipulated by foreign powers and those in the GOP who want power.  However, as my mother would say, “you made your bed, now lie in it.”  It is not that I will ever support him or the GOP when they put people, our country, and our world at risk but I will at least try to understand that what he does comes from a background that was devoid of compassion for others.  He may have grown up monetarily wealthy but his life has no richness to it.  He is one of the poorest people on earth.  That is the reason he strikes out at those who have found life with meaning that doesn’t encompass only gold.  That is reason he strikes at President Obama, because he is loved and Donald isn’t, not even by his family.  That makes his heart small, his life small, and that deserves our, my, compassion.

To love someone that is unlovable is hard and I can only say this new practice of compassion and love is a work in progress.  So, expect backsliding. I will continue to resist, protest, letter write, and even tweet at “the Donald.” However, I will temper my statements with as much kindness I can muster at the moment and I will add this man to my prayer list. Jesus said to love the unlovable, the sick, the poor, and the imprisoned and Donald is unlovable, poor, and imprisoned in walls of his own making and the making of his family. But he is one of God’s beloveds and that is all that matters. I am not sure how successful I will be but I will try, so, help me Holy Spirit.

Ruth Jewell, ©March 13, 2017

 

 

January 20, 2017

Last evening I was thinking about history, in particular, the history of our country. In 1776 our founding fathers chose to protest and separate from an oppressive imperial government. They chose to fight what they saw as injustice and for the most part they won that battle. Yes, most were elitist, and some were slave holders, they were, to put it mildly, a product of their time. But for the most part they had a vision of a country where each person would have the right to an equal chance at “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” I wonder what they would say about today’s inauguration, I believe they wouldn’t be very proud of us right now.

I know, I know, those writers of the Declaration of Independence and Constitution didn’t have the foresight to include women, people of color, those with different beliefs, or the LGBQT community in their plans, but, the blueprint was there. And, in more than 200 years we have grown and matured as a nation, as a people, and now most of us see each person in our country as important, valuable, to the success of us all.

Throughout our history, we have struggled to open our understanding of who is an American. In the last 100 years, great strides have been made in insuring the poor, woman, people of color, those with differing gender identities, and those with differing beliefs have the same rights as rich white males. We opened the doors of our country and people from all over the world have enriched our society in every way possible. But now those advancements seem to be coming to an end.

This country elected someone who only sees value in rich white men. This man and his followers see the population of the U.S. as a means to an end, an end that fills their pockets. To accomplish their purpose, they duped other white men into believing they too can be ‘rich’ knowing that what they will do while in office will prevent anyone but themselves from succeeding. They have done it by demonizing the poor, people of color, women, those of differing beliefs, and those with differing gender identities in order to hide their true intent, to make themselves wealthy and more powerful. They don’t have the interest of the country at heart, the only thing they think about is how much power over others they have and how much money fills their coffers. Not a very nice picture of our current government.

Our Founding Fathers weren’t perfect, they owned slaves, they thought the poor should do more, they didn’t acknowledge women as citizens and they certainly didn’t accept anyone who identified with a different gender. Yet they managed to set aside most of their bias’s and conflicts to craft our government’s documents that had the flexibility to, in time, include those who had been excluded. Not perfect men but wise men.

So, are we returning to an ideology that pre-dates our Founding Father’s? I hope not, but, I fear so. In the last eight years, we have seen the rise of hate crimes instigated by the very people we elected into office. The gains we have made in racial and gender equality are threatened by elected officials who use the fear of being marginalized to demonize anyone who is different. Our so-called representatives have built on misconceptions and lies to produce a constituency across the nation that, while they are well off, thinks they are poor and being discriminated against. Most of these representatives have benefited from the social improvements created since World War II, but, apparently, they believe they are the only ones who deserve to be so honored.

In the next four years, we could lose this country to a society reminiscent of Nazi Germany and that scares me. But I also have hope. I have hope because so many people are speaking out, willing to put their hopes and dreams on the line by standing up and defying those that would roll back the achievements we have gained. Women are marching all over this country and all over this world to say we will not allow our hard-earned rights and privileges taken away. People are organizing to combat hate, racism, and violence. They are banding together to promote justice and mercy in the face of those who would take our health care, our education, our environment, our dreams.

My fear is that if we don’t see progress quickly then many will become discouraged and leave the fight. We cannot do waiver, success won’t be easy nor quick rather it will be very difficult. We will face insults and threats on our lives and lively hood, and that is scary. Each one of us has something we can do, whether it is getting out the vote, writing a letter, or marching in protest. There are small to big tasks, and all are important.

So, do not be afraid, you aren’t alone. Participate at whatever level you are most comfortable with, whether it is writing, financial support, all the way up to running for a government position at the Local, State, or Federal level. But do something, be part of the fight, be part of what we are to become.

Ruth Jewell, ©January 20, 2017

2017, A NEW YEAR?

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A new year has begun and I am not sure what it will bring. Usually I have a sense of new beginnings, or I have excited expectations and hope as I pick up from where I left off and start over again. Not this year though. There has been too much acrimony, too much hate, too many lies, too much racism, and too little justice, mercy, kindness, and peace for me to look forward to the coming year. Sad really, because it seems 2017 is already defeated before it is a week old. I am afraid 2017 will just be a year of more hateful speech, more injustice, more discrimination, and more violence.

There is no one person to blame, we all are responsible for the atmosphere of distrust and hate we see every day, in the news, from our politicians, from our neighbors. Let me make this clear, you and I are to blame from the people who fear the changes created in the last 30 years. We forgot that people might not understand, might not be willing to accept those changes. We assumed they would go along “when the discovered how much better they had it.” But they didn’t. No, they felt left out of the process, unasked, and left behind, and they felt their concerns and issues weren’t being addressed.

Yes, they could have become involved and worked with those of us who believed we were working to better the lives of everyone, and the environment. But somehow, they didn’t feel as if they could. Maybe they didn’t believe as we did, maybe they needed to be given more information, maybe they just needed more time to assimilate all the information being thrown at them. Whatever the reason some people became alienated and open to manipulation by those whose agenda is to turn back the clock to a time when only the few profited from the bounty of this country.

Maybe the reason for the divide is that those of us who want to see us progress broke into interest groups who fought over what issue was most important when, in reality, all of it is. No one has ever bothered to look at the larger picture. To try developing a program that would have given equal emphasis to each issue. To bring together the disparate interest groups formulate a policy that would have benefited each area of interest. The modernization of each issue, environment, inclusivity, racism, woman’s rights, children’s right, poverty, immigration, all of them, each is dependent on the other.

What do we do now that we have a president whose only interest is his own personal gain, a congress dominated by old white men bent on preserving white privilege, and the hate and racism propagated during the last eight years by has let loose violence and terror in our communities. Well, to start we work together, all interest groups working together to keep what has been achieved from being lost. Our job now is to stand up when we see abuse or harassment and protect the victims, stopping hate speech when we hear it, and working to prevent injustice wherever we see it. None of this is easy. It isn’t easy to do and it isn’t easy to work up the courage to take a stand. But that is what we are called to do.

I am a person of faith, and 2016 sorely tested that faith. Yet I still believe in what I was taught that we are to act justly and to love kindness, mercy, and compassion. We as a people of many faiths and beliefs are called to care for the disinherited, the lost, the incarcerated, elderly, young, and the stranger. That doesn’t change even though it has become much more difficult at the moment. History moves in many ways and we repeat our mistakes over and over again. We have the possibility to achieve great heights or astounding lows. The choice is ours. Do we repeat history or do we show that we can change history.

Ruth Jewell, ©January 3, 2017