Memories, Memories

Birthdays make me reflective and as I get older the more reflection I seem to need. I just had my birthday and I have been contemplating memories of the last 72 years.  I find it hard to believe that I’m in my 70th decade and it is even harder to believe I survived all those years. 

Have you noticed memories are kind of weird? We never really remember them as they were but as we want them to be. I also don’t remember them in order and one memory seems to trigger another that may have happened years before or years after.  But, the act of remembering is a re-membering of me.  It is a process to remind me from where I came and how each memory created me.  It is a little like a yearly ‘Examen.’ It isn’t just remembering but an accounting of my life.  It is an opportunity to remember the good times and the bad, to forgive others, and to be forgiven, and to offer myself forgiveness.

I find God’s grace in memories, grace I hadn’t noticed when I was living them. I sometimes discover angels who have been my guides or protectors that I didn’t recognize when they entered and left my life. Each grace and angel helped form me into the person I have become. Unfortunately, I have also recognized a few individuals who lead me from my path, and I had to struggle to return, often with the help of one of those angels. It is one of God’s enduring graces that angels come when we need them and it’s usually when we have gotten everything all wrong.

I have been rescued so many times that my guardian angel carries an extra-large emergency kit.  I am sure she is grateful I haven’t needed to be rescued for a while. I started very early with getting my self into trouble. I was 6 when I pulled a deep-fat fryer down on top of me, resulting in 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 75% of my body. My memory of the incident is I wasn’t alone, I was being told I would be alright, and I was.  An angel in the shape of a plastic surgeon came and volunteered to perform all the skin grafts, paying for the hospital himself, and not charging my parents.  Without the skill of Dr. Meany, I would have been severely crippled. I would have been unable to live a normal life. My gratitude for the Doctors and nurses who worked so hard to save and heal me has no bounds.  To give back the gift given to me I have tried to be present to those who have been burnt, giving them comfort, and sitting and listening to their fears.

Passing on the gifts of grace has become part of who I am. I have been on the verge of homelessness a couple of times in my life and each time one of those angels was sent in to help. To pass on that gift I have helped others who have been on that edge, never expecting I will be repaid but always expecting that they will pass on their gift of grace.  If everyone did that no one would ever be homeless.

Those are nice memories, but I also have memories I am not proud of.  In my early 20’s I worked with a woman who could be abrasive and, quite honestly, we didn’t just not get along, we disliked each other intensely. I am ashamed to say that I started a not so nice rumor about her. There was a small, very small, bit of truth to it but essentially it was an exaggeration of the facts.  I never apologized to her, in fact it wasn’t long after it happened that I left for college. I regret that. I will never see her again, I don’t even know if she is still alive. A few years ago, during a ritual of forgiveness, I asked God to let her know, wherever she is, that I am truly sorry. I also offered a prayer to forgive myself in order to let go of the feelings of guilt, and, anger I had felt towards her. It took a while to feel within the forgiveness I sought but eventually I did.

Memories are funny things, I don’t remember the same ones every year but the ones I do seem to be the ones God wants me to remember.  As I am 72 I have a lot of memories, I sincerely hope I have enough time in the life left to me to ask for forgiveness, and to express gratitude for those I haven’t remembered yet.  Only time will tell. 

Birthdays are not something I celebrate, but I find them useful.  They offer a time to recognize grace, ask for forgiveness, and find peace in a life that has seen some rocky roads.  I have no idea what memories I will form in the next years and I hope they will be good ones. I also hope they won’t be too embarrassing, but if they are, I know God and the angels will be nearby.  After all my guardian angel has that huge emergency kit just waiting for me to mess up.

Betty Buckley – Memory (1983 Tony Awards)

Ruth Jewell, © March 12, 2019

It Is Time

I have reached my limit for lies, hate, and violence.  I have reached my limit for the whining of so-called “men with fragile masculinity” who can’t accept women having just as much right to succeed at work and leadership as they do. I have reached my limit for white men, and women, who think they are the only ones who have rights and privileges. I have also reached my limit for “so called evangelical Christians” who have hijacked my faith to feed their power, position, and greed.

I am disgusted with the so-called Christians who deny services to people who are LGBQ, they refuse to welcome the immigrant, or care for the hungry, homeless, or ill. They profess to be “Pro-Life” but don’t support child health care programs or food programs to keep children healthy, which has led to an infant mortality rate in the US that is 19th out of the 20 wealthiest countries. (CNN: Among 20 wealthy nations, US child mortality ranks worst, study finds, By Jacqueline Howard, January 8, 2018) All practices taught by Jesus of Nazareth.

Despite what they call themselves the evangelicals they have nothing in common with the carpenter from Nazareth.  And, it is time we stopped them from using the title of Christianity to promote laws removing safeguards for the most vulnerable in our country. It is time to stop people, like Donald Trump and Mitch McConnel, from using religion as an excuse to hord the wealth of our country as they seek to persecute the poor, immigrants, people of color and push middle income Americans into poverty.

It is time to take back the moral high ground from people who have no morals.  Lying, bigotry, hate, greed, and selfishness have no place in our country where there are enough resources to care for all. Providing for the welfare of our citizens is mandated in our constitution and in the scriptures of every major religion. To do otherwise is a crime against humanity, a crime against the Divine.

I have had it with the lies and false information coming out of the mouths of elected officials. I am tired of their denial of climate change, their love of firearms, and their refusal to accept firearm regulations. I am tired of destructive international polices and the relations with dictators that has put our country at risk. I am tired of people who manipulate our political and legal systems in order to fill their pockets with money they don’t need and satisfy the need for power.  I am tired of the theft of our electoral systems to consolidate power and money in the hands of the few. All of it done with the approval of evangelicals.  I am tired of . . .  all of it. 

As a Christian, a person who follows the teachings of Jesus, I can no longer stand by and not speak out.  Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes:

“When societies grow affluent, when the burden of law-abidingness falls on the state and institutions, when people define right and wrong in terms of externalities – punishments and rewards – and in terms of what other people do and are seen to get away with . . . on immediate benefits not long-term sustainability, then society begins to erode from within and there is little anyone can do to halt it.” (The Great Partnership, Schocken Books, New York, 2011, pg 161)

Faith has traditionally held our society in a cohesive unit. Whether or not people attend or claim a religious background the basic rules of a civilized society that are learned and kept comes from religious practices. The ideas of right vs wrong, that might does not make right, that it is better for everyone when all people have what they need to survive and thrive are lessons learned and kept.

Our country once had the reputation for altruism. While we have never had or needed a state religion, we still helped those in need of shelter, food, health care, clothing, all without the expectation of return. Individuals and in concert with our elected bodies we helped people.  We provided a beacon of giving light in a world where there were men who wanted to extinguish that light. Compassion, mercy, and kindness were traits we valued in our society.  So, what happened to us? I have asked myself that question many times and I have no answers. I am sure the “experts” have one, but, I do not. What I do know is the only ones who can put a stop to the madness sweeping America, is us.

 “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)

Speaking out is an obligation, a duty, of being a Christian, as are all members of Judeo/Christian/Islamic faith, when injustice occurs. Speaking through Prophets, God repeatedly extoled the Hebrew people to care for the widow, young, elderly, and the ill, and welcome the stranger. Through the prophet Micah, God tells the people of Judah:

Jesus also tells us

34 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? 38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ 40 And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:34-40)

Such lessons from our faith are being twisted by people we normally would trust, our own leaders, nation, state, and local. Instead of honoring the commands of God, and Jesus, they have assimilated the values of ancient Romans and Greeks who held self interest as the most valuable ideal. For today’s leaders the ideals of compassion, mercy, and justice only applies to them.  Their actions display anti‑Christian beliefs so why do allow them to demean our faith, our good name. 

It is time to call them out, for Christians to standup and speak out about their abuses. We have been way too silent, letting people like Paul Ryan claim to be a good Christian while working to dismantle all of the work of the last 50 years to support the welfare of Americans. Donald Trump proudly tells his thuggish supporters to beat up, and attack those who he doesn’t agree with, where in scripture do you find that?

Because of people like Mitch McConnell, and Donald Trump who favor racist, bigoted, and violent speech there has been a loosening of violence across this country. More people are afraid of those who follow these people than they do ISIS! I am not saying to copy the actions of the followers of Trump or GOP, no, there are ways to resist them that are not violent or contrary to the teachings of scripture. 

  1. Do not endorse, by your silence, racist, bigoted, violent, or abusive religious statements.  Speak up and demand it to stop.
  2. Become involved in some way with the Poor Peoples Campaign, https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org/.  This is a National Call for Moral Revival uniting tens of thousands of people across the country to challenge the evils of systemic racism, poverty, the war economy, ecological devastation and the nation’s distorted morality.  This is a non-violent group that provides many avenues and opportunities to challenge those who would destroy us.
  3. Identify Anti-Racist groups and organizations in your local area and work to change our communities
  4. Write, e-mail, or phone your congressmen, senators, state and local representatives that racial discrimination, bigotry, and violence must end.
  5. Write letters to the editors
  6. Do as I am right now writing a blog.
  7. Last but not the least (and this may be the most powerful) use social media to support anti-racism, anti-bigotry, anti-violence in speech and actions.

There is something for everyone to do to resist and challenge those who would see the end of the United States.  We must never become a dictatorship, we must repel the tyranny of the religious few who have desecrated the name of Jesus and of our Judeo/Christian/Islamic God. Only we can do this.  The fate of who governs this country, what we will believe is in our hands no one else’s.

Ruth Jewell, © February 14, 2019

New Years’ Day Prayer

Circle us, Lord, on this New Year’s Day
Circle us with the light of your presence, bright in a world going dark
Enable us to overcomer fear and temptation
Enable us to have courage to overcome despair and apathy
Enable us to become that which you would desire
Lord of creation, Lord of Salvation
Circle us with the light of your presence

Circle us, Lord, each day of the New Year
Circle our families within the shelter of your outstretched arms
Protect them in each moment of their daily lives
Guide them in the decisions they face
Protect their homes and relationships
Lord of creation, Lord of Salvation
Circle our families with the light of your presence

Circle us, Lord, each day of the New Year
Circle this nation, with your unconditional love and hope,
Create a desire to listen to each other
Create a willingness to understand and respond
Create a need to reach out to you, Lord, for strength and courage
Lord of creation, Lord of Salvation
Circle our nation with the light of your presence

Circle us, Lord, each day of the New Year
Circle this world with the joy of your Salvation
Where there is sickness and disease bring healing
Where there is hunger and despair bring hope
Where there is torture and oppression bring release
Lord of creation, Lord of Salvation
Circle this world with the light of your presence

Ruth Jewell, ©January 1, 2019

Litany for Veterans and First Responders

Presentation1_editedTHANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

In the struggles we choose and the Crises we don’t,
we offer prayers for those who stand against the darkness.
God in your mercy, hear our prayers

It is right to remember those who gave us the freedom
to choose to live our lives in safety and comfort.
It is right to offer prayers for those who chose to give their lives for us.
God in your mercy, hear our prayers

We share a history with those lives,
those who risk their lives to protect our homes,
rescue us from disaster, care for us when injured: for all First Responders we pray:
Law Enforcement, Fire, Search and Rescue teams, and Medical and Support teams.
God in your mercy, hear our prayers

On land, on sea, and in the air
our brothers and sisters, our sons and daughters
our wives and husbands risked all, are risking all, and will continue to risk all;
for those who served and serve still, we offer prayers.
For the men and women of the Army, National Guard, Coast Guard,
Navy, Marines, and Air Force we pray.
God in your mercy, hear our prayers

They may be gone, but they are with us still.
The lives they lived give us the strength to carry on.
Their words remind us that freedom isn’t free,
we, the living, carry these brave souls with us,
their voices call to us to continue the fight,
to care for the wounded, to protect the innocent,
and defend the defenseless.
God in your mercy, Hear our prayers

They call us to reject those who would deny the freedom to
live with dignity, to worship as they choose, to be who God has called them to be.
It is our loving duty, our responsibility, to never fail those who did not fail us.
We, oh Lord, accept the challenge to continue to stand
with those who stood for us.
God in your mercy, Hear our prayer

Ruth Jewell, ©November 11, 2018

Morning Breath Prayer

08-12-06 o
Canyon Trail, Yost Park, Edmonds WA,
August 2006, Ruth Jewell

 

Breath of . . .
God
Voice of . . .
God
Touch of . . .
God
Taste of . . .
God
Sight of . . .
God
Smell of . . .
God
Joy of . . .
God
Jealousy of . . .
God
Loyalty of . . .
God
Sadness of . . .
God
Anger of . . .
God
Tears of . . .
God
Love of . . .
God
Compassion of . . .
God
Forgiveness of . . .
God
Laughter of . . .
God
Beauty of . . .
God
Faith of . . .
God
Grace of . . .
God
Peace of . . .
God

Ruth Jewell, ©October 24, 2018