As I sit a robin sings his morning song,
tea in hand, dog in my lap
I wait expectantly,
I listen . . .
all I hear are crows, and wrens.
Where are you?
It has been so long since
I felt your presence.
I long to feel your touch on my cheek,
to hear your whispers in my ear.
I want to be enfolded in your Holy embrace
I search my heart for you.
I seek you in the eyes of those I meet.
I cannot find you, and
without you I am lost.
There is so much to tell you, but . . .
you are not there to hear.
Patience I tell myself, you will come.
So like a Desert Mother I sit day after day and wait,
listening, longing,
silent I sit.
Saturday, June 21st, was the summer solstice and I spent the day in a solstice retreat. It was a time of quiet meditation, laughter, the beginning of new relationships and the renewal of others. One of our discussions covered how all of us have a ‘longing’ for the companionship of others. I, like most people, was born into a family that served as my primary home of ‘be-longing’ for many years but now the events of normal life has separated me from most of my birth family. As a result I created my own ‘family’ through relationships with good friends, companion animals, and my husband and his family.
I had never thought of either a birth-family or a self created-family as a holy thing until I read a book by the late John O’Donohue, Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on our Yearning to Belong.[1] In the very beginning of the book O’Donohue says “When you suppress your wild longing and opt for the predictable and safe forms of belonging, you sin against the rest of Nature that longs to live deeply through you” (pg 5). When we deny our need to belong in relationship with others we deny our true selves and we deny God’s gift of grace of the warm embrace of those who care for us. Yes being in relationship with any other being entails risk; the risk of loss and grief, and the risk of being betrayed. Yet while all of those risk may/do/will happen the benefit joy of knowing there is someone who understands you and is willing to be there for you totally outweighs any sorrow that may occur in the future.
Yes I have lost people I had been in relationship with for many years to death, relocation, and arguments. And losing a friend because of anger or betrayal is the hardest lost for it means a break in the sacred bond God had gifted us with. Today I am more aware of my relationships, looking for ways to nurture them instead of poisoning them. Belonging requires hard work, but like a garden the fruits of the harvest are bountiful and delightful.
Today I ask you to hold in prayer your relationships with your family, friends, companion animals, God and draw strength from knowing you are not alone even when the night is the darkest.
Words are many things:
hurtful, uplifting, loving, hateful,
words are either —
fertilizer for the growth of new life, … or
poison for the soul.
Actions do many things:
open or close door, feed or starve the hungry,
actions can —
lift up the soul into the sun, … or
drive the soul into the ground.
Life versus existence
which will it be.
To live life means;
speaking for the voiceless,
encouraging the timid, guiding the young,
sharing from your abundance, and
laughing until the dawn.
To exist means:
storing your treasures in leaking vessels,
hiding fearfully behind walls of your own making,
distrusting those closest to you, and
being alone even in a crowd.
Life is to be lived
to share good fortune and bad,
to share laughter and tears,
to offer a helping hand,
to dance and sing together
Giving is better than hording
light of life is better than the darkness of existence.
Life for all is at its best when
all have what they need, enough
encouragement, love, compassion, justice, mercy.
“. . . too often we resist the urge to turn our hearts to God, for this might entail some serious and inconvenient changes in our lives.” Jamal Rahman, Out of Darkness into Light
This past week has been interesting. You see I am coming to a place where I have to let go of some goals and turn my resulting life, that will be, over to God. Now I am a stubborn person, and I LIKE being in control of my journey, but, I am discovering I control nothing. Nothing in my life is predictable, except when I surrender my will to God.
The above words of Jamal Rahman really hit home for me, because surrendering to God does mean my life changes dramatically. The number one in my life can no longer be me, but God. It means everything I do take’s on a sacred attribute because I’m not doing it for myself; I am doing nothing, because you see everything is for and through God.
When I give up and let go of the reins I am clutching in my white knuckled hand my life focus changes from “it’s all about me” to it is all about what God wants of me; doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God (Micah 6:8). While Micah’s words sound simple they are not easy and I am consciously, continually, moving into them bit by painful bit.
One of my first steps in surrendering to God began with (or I should say begins with) a practice of examining the unease I have with my life and then holding it to as I find the root cause. I allow myself to kind to me as I acknowledge and hold the energy the cause has over me, offering it up in prayer for God’s mercy and forgiveness.
So I offer Surrender as our spiritual practice of the week. When you feel something is wrong in your life do not ignore or deny it. Instead sit quietly and hold the feeling in your heart, listen to it and search from where it comes. Then as you hold the feelings in your heart pray to God for strength and mercy, asking for God to walk with you as you go deeper into the feeling and surrender the cause to God in prayer. Over time as you repeat this practice you may discover your connection and relationship with God growing ever stronger.
Surrender may be difficult but not impossible when you remember the words of Jesus who said “do not be afraid, for I am with you always.” (Matthew 28:10).
32 Let the afflicted see it and be glad!
You who seek God—
let your hearts beat strong again — Psalm 69: 32 (CEB)
30 But I will give great thanks to the Lord with my mouth;
among a great crowd I will praise God! — Psalm 109:30 (CEB)
This past January John and I visited Boston to celebrate his and our youngest grandson’s birthdays , which fall on the same day. And, yes I know January is not the ideal time to visit historic Boston and yes we had snow. However, we just couldn’t miss this celebration of joint Birthdays.
Because the weather was anything but comfortable we all decided to visit the Boston Science Museum and spend the day where it was warm, dry and had lots of exciting things to do and see. The 2 grandchildren had a great time exploring the human body, looking at dinosaurs and exploring all kinds of interactive exhibits. For lunch we chose to take our packed lunch to the large busy café and supplement all of our goodies with a few treats.
After making our selections and paying for them I went to get the necessary napkins, forks, spoons and straws needed to eat our lunch. As I was picking up my things there was a young man restocking the bins as we took things out. It looked like such an endless job and more than a little boring but he was doing an excellent job of keeping up. Before I left I turned to him and said “thank you for keeping this area stocked, I’m sure it’s not an easy task.” Startled he turned and gave me a gruff “thank you.”
After we had finished our lunch and were preparing to leave the area the same young man pushed his way through the crowded exit area and called to me, “Miss, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your thanks. No one has ever spoken to me that way before and I was afraid I might have offended you so I wanted to make sure you knew how happy I was.”
First of all, I really liked being called miss, no one has called me that in a very long time so he won me over just with that one word. Well I was happy to bring a little joy into his otherwise boring day with just a few words of thanks from me. But, what saddened me was his statement NO ONE HAD EVER COMPLIMENTED HIM for doing his job well! No one ever said thank you! That is one of the saddest things I have ever heard. It took me all of 2 seconds to express my thanks to the young man and those 2 seconds made his day. For 2 seconds he wasn’t invisible and unimportant. No he had been seen, he was important enough for someone to say thank you. As we were separated by the ever shifting crowd he waved and gives me the biggest, toothiest grin I have ever seen.
Two seconds out of my day added joy to someone else’s. Gratitude isn’t an emotion or attitude we are to keep to ourselves, no, gratitude is to be given away freely at every opportune moment, even when you yourself are not grateful. We hear so often we are to be grateful for what God has given us, to express gratitude by thanking God. Well being grateful for God’s grace comes in many forms. It was a grace of God that a young man did his boring job well, it was a grace of God that allowed me to see the face of God in the young man and his courage to continue performing a rather menial task even when no noticed how well he did it. Gratitude for the grace of God comes in many forms, big and small, all are important in the eyes of God.
The Psalms tell us to seek God’s face and to offer our thanks for God’s gifts. Each one of us is a gift, each one of us has a gift to give, each one of us is the reflection of God, and each one of us carries God within. So doesn’t it make sense to give thanks to those who reflect the grace of God?
Over the next week begin the habit of saying thank you for the little graces of God. Offer thanks to the bus driver as you exit, say thank you to the young woman who hands you your morning coffee or say thank you to the washroom attended and see the smiles grow around you. Offering thanks is an easy spiritual practice and one that brings great joy to the receiver and the giver alike and it is free to give. It costs you no more than 2 to 5 seconds of your day, surly we can spend 5 seconds to bring hours of joy to someone who feels they are invisible to the rest of the world. Surly we can learn to do that every day, for every person we meet.
Thank you for reading my blog post. Your presence on my site has made my day and I am grateful for your interest.
“Do not urge me to leave you,
to turn back from following you.
Wherever you go, I will go;
and wherever you stay, I will stay.
Your people will be my people,
and your God will be my God. 17Wherever you die, I will die,
and there I will be buried.
May the Lord do this to me
and more so,
if even death separates me from you!”
Just over 13 years ago these beautiful words from scripture were read at my wedding. I have always loved the book of Ruth, and yes one reason is because I was named for her, but, primarily I love it because Ruth took her destiny into her own hands and made a place for herself among strangers. Like the biblical Ruth my own life has been one of making my place in strange places and with strangers all around me. My wedding was just one of the many steps along my journey to find the face of God.
Now I really don’t want this rambling to be about John and me rather I want to tell you the best part of my marriage, our grandchildren. Ok, so they are John’s grandchildren not mine, but the youngest ones have known only me as Grammy Ruth and I love them and their parents as much as if they were my blood relations. And, I have watched with great joy as the two older ones Granddaughter S and Grandson A grow into loving adults.
Recently John, me and our little Chihuahua Suzie spent a joyous week in Boston with John’s son M and daughter-in-law LB and the littlest grandchildren, Grandson L and Granddaughter A. John’s birthday is January 17th and he shares it with L who turned 7 this year, so for the first time they decided to celebrate their birthdays together. Watching L as he opened gifts, as he gently held our little dog Suzie, and talked excitedly about everything was a pleasure all its own. Holding little A and reading a story to her, playing games, watching as she and her brother played, and squabbled, and listening to giggles, laughter and tears put me in a place of bliss that I can’t really describe to you.
I watched as M and LB did a ballet of sorts as they prepared breakfast and got the kids ready for school. As I listened I realized just how much M and John sound alike and how much grandson L is growing into a young man so like his father and grandfather. Granddaughter A has inherited her mother’s artistic talents which she combines with her father’s and Papa John’s determination to succeed and do it well. Even though she is only 4½ she is determined to dance and draw her life in her own way.
I said my journey was to find the face of God and I do, in all of creation including people. The most important Faces of God I see is when I look at John early in the morning just before rising, in the faces of M and LB when I spot them waiting for us to come from the plane. I see God’s face in the sleeping, laughing, crying, and determined faces of Grandson L and Granddaughter A. I hear God laugh and giggle when Granddaughter A dances and runs in play. I hear God’s voice when I listen to LB and John talk in the kitchen doing clean up from dinner. I hear God’s voice as Grandson L talks with so much certainty about how something works in his 7 year old world and see God at work as he figures out how to build a new structure of some sort.
This is the wedding gift that never stops giving. I have found a place here in the midst of strangers. I have found people I love. After much searching I have found where I belong. I have been welcomed and accepted as family and been blessed with the love from John’s 3 sons and 4 grandchildren. I have watched the two oldest grow into strong adults where a future of unknown adventures lies before them. I have held in my arms Grandson L and Granddaughter A as newborns and offered my blessings and prayers for God to watch over them.
I have watched each of the grandchildren grow into people I want know. All of them are young people who question everything and when no one can give them an answer they go in search for it. Even if Grandson L and Granddaughter A might not believe in a Divine force, they know they have a Grammy who sees that Divine force whenever she looks into their eyes. It is in the question of why does Grammy believes what she does that opens a door to their own journey of discovery of who they are and where they fit in.
My blessed babies, who are babies no longer, have begun their own journeys. Someday they too will say “wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you stay, I will stay.” That day lies long in the future but time passes quickly and before you know it they will be searching for what they believe. My prayer for all four of the Grandchildren is they find what feeds their souls with love, compassion, mercy and a passion for justice. I pray they build a life that gives more than it takes, a life open to the blessings of God whether they call Her God or not.
Master of Vienna, Adoration (1410), FB Page The Celtic Christian Tradition
Sermon – Epiphany Sunday
January 5, 2014
Queen Anne Christian Church Seattle, WA
Matthew 2:1-12 (Common English Bible [CEB])
Coming of the magi
1After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in the territory of Judea during the rule of King Herod, magi came from the east to Jerusalem. 2 They asked, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We’ve seen his star in the east, and we’ve come to honor him.”
3 When King Herod heard this, he was troubled, and everyone in Jerusalem was troubled with him. 4 He gathered all the chief priests and the legal experts and asked them where the Christ was to be born. 5 They said, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for this is what the prophet wrote:
6 You, Bethlehem, land of Judah,
by no means are you least among the rulers of Judah,
because from you will come one who governs,
who will shepherd my people Israel.”
7 Then Herod secretly called for the magi and found out from them the time when the star had first appeared. 8 He sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search carefully for the child. When you’ve found him, report to me so that I too may go and honor him.” 9 When they heard the king, they went; and look, the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stood over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were filled with joy. 11 They entered the house and saw the child with Mary his mother. Falling to their knees, they honored him. Then they opened their treasure chests and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 12 Because they were warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they went back to their own country by another route.
Greek derivation of Magi, (Strongs Hebrew, Chaldee, and Greek Dictionary)
3097.magos mag’-os (of foreign origin (7248); a Magian, i.e. Oriental scientist; by implication, a magician:–sorcerer, wise man, [interpreter of dreams, prophet]. (plural, could refer to a male or female wise person)
The story of the Magi is such a familiar story. We have heard this story so many times before and I am sure all of us are able to repeat it without difficulty, at least the surface story. I was confronted with this simple story, which is anything but simple, when I chose to meditate on it for Epiphany Sunday’s Sermon. Sitting in silence, letting the words of Matthew settle into my subconscious I realized there is so much more to this tale than I first believed. There are also way too many questions to address in a single sermon. If you ever wanted to experience an abundance of graces just read this story carefully. I could go into the fact that the gender and number of the Magi is never mentioned in the scripture and that the Magi were gentiles; or the Magi don’t visit the stable, they come to the home of Joseph and Mary; and because the story of the killing of the Bethlehem’s children that follows the Magi’s visit lead scholars to believe Jesus could have been as old as 2. And, that’s just few of the questions I found in these 12 verses of Matthew Chapter 2. What did intrigue me, and what I will discuss, was never addressed by all of the learned theologians I perused. What I wanted to know was the reason these learned gentiles come in search of a child, a child born to a carpenter and his wife. And, what unknown gifts still hides in this story for me, and all of us, beyond the pretty tale of rich strangers visiting a destitute baby?
First of my questions was what did the Magi expect to find when they arrived in Jerusalem. Since they came to the city of the kings of Judea they must have expected to find the child born there, and to parents with more than a lineage to David. My guess is they had expected to find a somewhat wealthy family, or at least fairly well off. After all they were looking for a King and you normally don’t find one living in the home of working class people. They must also have been confused and terribly disappointed that no one knew what they were talking about. I mean, the birth of a King is big news isn’t. Doesn’t everyone celebrate the birth of a King? It isn’t until King Herod calls them for an audience do they learn that the prophets foretell the birth of “the anointed one,” “the Christ,” was to happen in Bethlehem. I have no doubt they left somewhat confused. But, eventually they find the baby living in the home with his mother and father. They even bring gifts, and while Mary might have preferred diapers, the gifts they gave were costly and fit for a King. (By the way Bethlehem and the gifts are never mentioned again, why? Another question to confound me.)
They were seeking a child, an infant King, someone who would turn the Roman world upside down and I can only imagine their surprise at finding the child in such humble circumstances. They brought gifts Herod would have drooled over, gold, frankincense, myrrh. Wonderful gifts but not really practical for the family they found, well the gold was probably most welcome. But frankincense and myrrh those aren’t baby gifts. Frankincense and myrrh were used to perfume oils and ointments for the purification of worship spaces and the anointing of the dead.
Now I know what Matthew was implying by the gifts: Gold was the symbol of Jesus’ kingship, frankincense the symbol for the priestly role Jesus would be called to live, and myrrh a foretaste of what he would endure at the end of his life. But I think these gentile scholars brought something else and it has been bequeathed to us today and our children. The Magi brought the gift of “seeking God’s face.”
God has always welcomed us and longed for our inquisitive search for the face of the Divine, and She encourages us to reach for her Holy arms. One of David’s Psalms says it well:
30 I will praise God’s name with song;
I will magnify him with thanks 31 because that is more pleasing to the Lord than an ox,
more pleasing than a young bull with full horns and hooves. 32 Let the afflicted see it and be glad!
You who seek God—
let your hearts beat strong again
— Psalm 69:30-32 (CEB)
And in the Book of Acts Paul tells the Athenians “27 God made the nations so they would seek him, perhaps even reach out to him and find him. In fact, God isn’t far away from any of us.” (Acts 17:27) No God is never far away, we are. And, seeking the face of God is one of the joys of creation we should do more often.
The Magi were the first to seek God’s face in its incarnated form, the face of a child. For Matthew the Magi represent the mission Jesus gives his disciples to reach out to all peoples but especially gentiles, and those born within the great humble mass of humanity, in all its lovely diversity; poor and rich, young and old, all genders, all races, and all people.
For me the Magi represent the longing to see God in the face of my beloved, my grandchildren, best friend, and all creation. I too want to see the incarnated God, I too long to see the ever present being in the first light of dawn, and I do see it in the face of my beloved when he first opens eyes in the morning. The Magi have passed this longing down to us and I am grateful for the gift and grateful to pass it on to the next generation.
The Magi’s gift of presence to a child in a humble home was passed on to us through Jesus’ presence in his life, death and resurrection. Now it is our mission to be present to the incarnated child born to humble parents. To recognize and honor the incarnation born in each of us, through our gifts to the world whatever they may be; caring for each other, the environment, our nation, and our world. It is up to us to be the Magi of today and visit the child in a humble home, to offer the gold of our love, to purify our mistakes with the frankincense of compassion; and to anoint those who pass on to the next world with the myrrh of God’s blessings and praise. In a Judean desert David writes:
God! My God! It’s you—
I search for you!
My whole beingthirsts for you!
My body desires you
in a dry and tired land,
no water anywhere. 2 Yes, I’ve seen you in the sanctuary;
I’ve seen your power and glory. 3 My lips praise you
because your faithful love
is better than life itself! 4 So I will bless you as long as I’m alive;
I will lift up my hands in your name.
— Psalm 63:1-4 (CEB)
So too are we called to offer our praises to God, honor the child that lives today, in each one of us, and in all of creation. Seek the face of God in all you meet, child, adult, male or female, and all of God’s marvelous creation. Look in the eyes of your loved ones, your companion animals, see the face of God looking back. Amen
A Quiet Walk 