Non-Meditation – Prayerful Tuesday

Sunset 08.22.2013

In the last couple of weeks I have been reading a book by Jay Michaelson, Everything is God, The Radical Path of Nondual Judaism[1], who described a prayer practice I have been using for many years but didn’t know it was a prayer practice, Non-Distracted, Non-Meditation.  This prayer practice, as Michaelson describes it, has no focus, no sense of meditation, where you simply become very aware that you are aware.  This is not exactly mindfulness rather this is simply opening up and letting the world around impact your senses in sound, sight, smell, taste and touch.  It is becoming aware of who you are.  Sounds a bit contradictory doesn’t it?

I have been practicing this manner of prayer for many years not knowing I was opening up to the Divine and letting Her in to the deep places of my heart.  Sometimes I am just plain clueless about what I am really doing and who I am!  I am by nature an introvert, a strong introvert, who is often very unwilling to let anyone into my space and awareness. This practice, however, opens doors, well maybe a window, where I become aware of the beauty of what surrounds me.  The beauty of my grandchildren playing, my husband fussing in the other room, the softness of Suzies fur or the way sunlight plays on the water in Puget Sound.  Most times I push those things away but when I sit and relax and open up for just a moment I am amazed by how they sweep over me in gentle waves.  I am astounded by what I discover that I have been hiding from my own awareness.  It has allowed me to rest in this place and simply be.  It is being aware that I am part of the universe, becoming aware that my DNA sings the same song the stars do.  It is awakening all of my senses to what G-d has created and knowing I belong here, in this place.

So how does the practice work?  Well Michaelson says it best, “ … sit with eyes open, just relax into awareness, with nothing to do and nowhere to go … just, for a moment drop what is in your mind and become aware of awareness itself; inhabiting it, and [letting it] speak”  It’s like sitting in your backyard  with nice cold drink in your hand, not thinking, nowhere to go, nothing to do, just being.

You can practice this at anytime, anywhere, whenever you want, just stop, take a deep breath, and for a moment become aware of your surroundings, relaxing your body and refreshing your mind. You might say it’s a 5 minute vacation for heart, mind and soul.

May you find peace where ever you are, may the Holy Spirit sit with you as you both enjoy the view.

Ruth Jewell, ©July 29, 2014

 

[1] Michaelson, Jay: Everything is God, The Radical Path of Nondual Judaism, Trumpeter, Boston MA, 2009

 

Un-Birthday Surprises – Prayerful Tuesday

Sunset 14.6.20 a

 

“I have come to believe that God, Truth, Beauty, Love—all those concepts I associate with the Divine—are not things that are “found” at the end of the path, like the post of gold at the end of the rainbow, but rather are what I experience on the journey as I travel through life—or perhaps, more explicitly, they are the journey itself.”   Jan Phillips, No Ordinary Time[1]

 

The above quote by Jan Phillips states beautifully one of the revelations of my own life.  Searching and hoping to ‘find’ love and truth is an exercise in futility.  Beauty, truth, love, and G-d come to me in those moments when I least expect them to arrive on my doorstep.  They often ‘find’ me when I am in the darkest and most terrifying moments of my life and they pull me from the depths back into the light. Or they show up unexpectedly, like a un-birthday present, while I am in the midst of something totally unrelated.

In your time of prayer this week reflect on when and where the Divine has surprised you with love, a new truth, and beauty.  Give thanks for those moments of joy and vow to be more open to the un‑birthday moments in your life.

Namaste

Ruth Jewell, ©July 15, 2014

 

[1] Phillips, Jan, No Ordinary Time, Copyright ©2011 Jan Phillips, Published by Livingkindness Foundation, San Diego, CA

Dying to be Born – Prayerful Tuesday

Photo by NASA
Photo by NASA

 

This past week I have been meditating with a book by Jan Phillips[1] and one of the daily readings was on creativity and the Cosmos a chapter that touched me deeply as I read it.  Someone once asked her “what is dying to be born?” and I realized that I have been asking that question of myself and the universe for many years.  If I think about birth and death in the Cosmos then I have to remember that every time a star dies many more are born in its place.  Our Sun came from the death of one such star and we are the children of that star.  Every element in our body once resided inside the burning birth chamber of a star.  When our sun dies it will spread all of the elements we now carry out into the universe to be born again in another star and planet and maybe another life.  How’s that for immortality.

I have been pondering various forms of the question ‘what is dying to be born’ for a long time now.  It is a good question no matter how it is framed.  It is important to recognize that we are dying and being reborn each day, in every moment of each day.  Who I am now is the product of what died to give me life in this moment. In recent years I have given a great deal of my meditation time to what wants to be born in me and what has to be ejected before that happens.  I am slowly coming to understand some of what and who I am.  For the first time in 67 years I feel a sense of purpose that has come from my own efforts instead of letting outside forces change me.  Taking the time to be in prayer has helped form new paths that I would never have explored otherwise.  So today I present a quest for each of you, and if you choose to accept it you might, just might, discover your own new paths.

The quest I am presenting to you this day is to focus for 15 minutes each day on what within you is dying to be born.  To open your heart and mind to the universe and let the sounds of new born stars and newborn babies inspire you to new paths of exploration.  To bless you on your journey I offer the following prayer written by Jan Phillips calls on the connection we have with all creation:

Our Father, Holy Mother
Creator of the Cosmos, Source of Life
You are in my mind, in my garden,
in my cup of wine and loaf of bread.
Blessed be your names:
Mother, Allah, Goddess, Beloved, Father,
Radiant One, Yahweh, HaShem, Sophia
Your presence has come, your will is done
on earth as it is in the cosmos.

May we give each other strength, mercy,
tenderness, and joy
and forgive each other’s failures,
silence, pettiness, and forgetfulness
as we ask to be forgiven
by those we’ve hurt.

Lead us home
to ourselves, to You,
to clarity, to oneness
and deliver us from the darkness
of our ignorance and fear.

So we pray and so we receive. Amen

— Jan Phillips, No Ordinary Time, pg. 63

Ruth Jewell, ©July 8, 2014

 

[1] Phillips, No Ordinary Time, Published by the LivingKindness Foundation, San Diego, CA, 2011

 

The Dark Night – Prayerful Tuesday

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I watched a PBS program the other night about Shakespeare’s Macbeth and one insight of the host made me sit up and take notice.  The play of Macbeth, as Shakespeare tells it, is about the ego. You see Macbeth let his own and his wife’s ego control his life and I resonate with that. As of late I am wrestling with my own ego issues. Now I doubt I am going to go and kill anyone to get ahead, although metaphorically speaking I may have done that already, but right now I am trying to separate my desires from the desires of God.  To be honest I don’t think I’m doing a very good job.  The question I ask myself (ok questions) ‘is what I want what God wants for me and from me,’ or ‘am I telling God what I want and just assuming that it is what God wants to do.’

You see telling the difference between those two things is really very difficult.  God doesn’t speak in direct ways. Rather, God speaks through the voices of those I love, the actions of others, or my own emotional response to things, but God never makes a telephone call, writes an e-mail, or even makes a Facebook® post, as much as I would appreciate that.  Sitting in silence and letting go of my expectations is wonderful but how long do I sit before I begin to wonder if anyone listening?

So how do proceed?  Well for me it is learning (and re-learning over and over again) patience and letting go of the necessity to be anything other than who I am.  That doesn’t mean I have no ambition it just means that I begin by changing how I view the world around me.  Is the world here for my benefit or am I here for the worlds?   If I am here to benefit the world than what I do should provide those around me with the love, compassion, kindness, justice and peace that God calls me to offer without expecting  a reward or recognition.  For me, as I’m sure everyone else, that is hard to do, we are, after all, ‘required’ to list our skills and what we have done with those skills whenever we apply for job or even volunteer.  I’m not sure putting down my skill as “walking with God” (Micah 6:8) is enough for most people. So that is my dilemma, how do tell the difference between “walking with God” and a desire for getting ahead in this world.

Life is rarely simple and well defined and looking for answers by sitting and listening for a ‘word’ from God is not an easy thing to do.  Currently, I am in one of the proverbial ‘dry places’ in my prayer and spiritual life that happens to all of us. I am questioning whether God is even listening to me, or even if there is a God. Such questions and doubts are difficult to face and are frightening to think I may have wasted my life in pursuit of God.  All I can do is continue to sit in silence and wait; to practice praying the scriptures and pray for an insight; and to pray the call of blind Bartimaeus “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me” (Mark 10:42). Instead of worrying about not ‘hearing’ from God I ‘should’ understand this is a time for me to rest and let silence enfold me and let the silence create its own richness and prayers that I cannot speak. And maybe I have to remember that I do not have to pursue God.  God actually sits near by waiting for me to surrender my ego and open the eyes of my heart to that Divine presence.  It is remembering prayer isn’t about receiving answers it is about sitting with God, creating space for God to move in my life in ways my ego will never understand.

Ruth Jewell, ©July 1, 2014

Desert

Color_card_dove_pix

 

As I sit a robin sings his morning song,
tea in hand, dog in my lap
I wait expectantly,
I listen . . .
all I hear are crows, and wrens.

Where are you?
It has been so long since
I felt your presence.
I long to feel your touch on my cheek,
to hear your whispers in my ear.
I want to be enfolded in your Holy embrace

I search my heart for you.
I seek you in the eyes of those I meet.
I cannot find you, and
without you I am lost.

There is so much to tell you, but . . .
you are not there to hear.
Patience I tell myself, you will come.
So like a Desert Mother I sit day after day and wait,
listening, longing,
silent I sit.

Ruth Jewell, ©June 25, 2014

Rest in God – Prayerful Tuesday

Cape Cod
Cape Cod

 

The only real rest comes
when you’re alone with God
— Rumi

Ruth Jewell, ©June 17, 2014

Praying with Art – Prayerful Tuesday

Romans 6:1b-11
Romans 6:1b-11

I am preaching next Sunday and the first step in the preparation for my sermon is to pray my scripture using Lectio Divina. The last step in my Lectio Divina is to write in my journal what I hear in the scripture. Often I will draw a Mandala as a visual image of what I hear and the Mandala above is my representation of Romans 6:1b-11, which is my text for next Sunday.

Lectio Divina is one of my favorite practices to delve into a particular scripture and I often add the process of drawing a Mandala when the scripture is long or very visual.  I find the resultant drawing adds another layer to my spiritual practice. I draw circular Mandalas for my reflections; I find the confined space of the circle helps me focus on the most important aspects of hearing.  But, prayers through art can take any form that reflects your own personal prayers.  Therefore pen and ink drawings, soul collage, painting, sculpting anything that lets you express through your artistic and creative senses will help you find a new richness in your prayers, and you don’t have to be an expert to enjoy putting the color and form of your prayers onto paper. Trust me I’m no Rembrandt and if I can do it anyone can.  Just give yourself permission to play and be open to what happens.

This week I suggest trying prayer through art.  Using 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 try praying with art.

Begin your prayer using the steps of Lectio Divina:

  • Reading/listening: read the passage to yourself twice.  Listen for the word or phrase that catches your attention.  Silently focus on that word or phrase, allowing it to sift through your heart and mind.
  • Meditation: As you focus on your chosen word pay attention to your feelings and thoughts, what images, thoughts, or memories does the word or phrase bring to mind.
  • Responding: What desires has your prayer brought, is there something you need to work on, or does your prayer lead you something you are grateful for.  Sit in silent prayer and listen as God forms your prayer in your heart.
  • Resting: Having heard the word or praise that has drawn you closer to God and having felt a response to the prayer allow yourself to rest in silence.  As you continue to sit in silence pick up your paper and pen or pencil and if an image has come forth in your prayer try putting it down on paper.  When you feel the prayer has ended express your gratitude to God with a “Thank You”, or, “Amen”

Remember you are not looking for a drawing of perfection rather you are expressing your feelings and thoughts as a visual image and whatever it is it will be your image, beautiful in all aspects.

Peace to all this week

Ruth Jewell, ©June 10, 2014