I thought I saw you down there at the end of the lane. Was it you I saw holding a violet to you breast? Was it you I saw gazing into the distant hills with such a far away look? Were you waiting for someone you love to come and hold you?
I thought I saw you down there at the end of the lane. Was it you with tears filling your eyes? Did I see you reach into emptiness hoping someone would reach back?
I thought I saw you down there at the end the lane waiting for someone. I saw you kneel in the grass with violets all around and I watched you pray. As you stand and walk away I prayed for you.
My spirit reaches out to you, surrounding you, supporting you, loving you, sending your heart strength. It is all I have to offer I cannot promise all will be well. I can only watch and guard. I can only send courage and walk with you, wait with you. I cannot give you all you want. All I can give, from my end of the lane, is love and hope.
Long ago this was a great house of worship Men came from far and wide To hear powerful leaders speak of God
. . . Today, Today
Today I am old and only my bones remain The grass, the flowers, the trees worship here now Fox, and mice, and birds all congregate
. . . Now, Now
Now sermons are the gentle whispers of wind and rain Mice lead with tiny voiced prayers Wrens lead a choir of sparrows and finches
. . . Prayer, Prayer’s
No more the loud prayers for men’s pride Now there is a gentle offering of gratitude and The Creator’s voice, the world’s hope, and the prayer for another day
46 They came to Jericho. As he and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus son of Timaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting by the roadside.
I love Bartimaeus and have gained insight from his persistence in his call to Jesus. Yet, I often wonder if most people who use the prayer understand its implications. The story itself has many layers. The blind Bartimaeus had a strength we often do not have.
First, the story takes place after Jesus has made his 3rd prediction of his coming death and has turned toward Jerusalem. As Jesus and the disciples leave Jericho Bartimaeus calls until Jesus acknowledges him from there the real meat of the story happens. Bart is calling at a critical time as Jesus is now focused on what will happen in Jerusalem. Yet, Jesus stops and answers Bart’s call. I am reminded of all the times I have called on Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit and wonder if I too have made my petition at an inopportune time. It is a grace that Jesus responds to Bart. This gives me hope.
Second, Jesus doesn’t just heal him rather, Jesus asks Bartimaeus what he wants from Him. Bart must articulate, say out loud, he wants to see. Bart must not only admit his need he must believe in the words Jesus will speak. It is in Bart’s belief in Jesus that he is made to see. He sees not just the world around him but the truth of what he sees. It has always been hard for me to speak my needs. I am always afraid I will be ridiculed or told that what I need is not important. I admit that my belief hasn’t always been as strong as Bart’s was that day in Jericho. Opening my heart and soul to my Creator has not been easy. But, I am a work in progress and I do believe the Holy Spirit is patient with me.
But there is one more piece that is often lost, Bart follows Jesus. Does he follow Him all the way to the end and the resurrection, we don’t know? But in the question and answer of the story, and the following the path that the story takes real meaning. We can ask for mercy, but what do we really want from Jesus. Bart followed Jesus on a difficult path, a road that led to Crucifixion, and yes, resurrection. But also, much pain and suffering. We don’t know if Bart stayed the course. I would like to think he did. But it gives me pause to think when I offer this prayer, what will I do when I am offered the opportunity to see.
I stayed home from church today. I stayed to make soup with the Holy Spirit. Not
just any soup mind you, but my own Vegetable Soup. You know the kind, soup
filled with chopped fresh potatoes, celery, carrots, turnips, garlic and
shallot and fresh herbs. All of them carefully
chopped up into bit sized pieces.
There is something comforting about chopping vegetables, watching the pile grow. Each vegetable adding their own special color, fragrance, and appeal to the pile. Shallots and garlic add their pungent scents, while potatoes add earthiness and carrots and tomatoes add a bit of sweetness. I did notice that the carrot coins kept rolling around the counter as if they wanted to escape. Celery’s spiciness is always appealing to me. I love the color contrast between the red pepper and the parsley it always makes me smile and HS, that’s Holy Spirit for those of you not on speaking terms, said, “my favorite is the hot banana pepper you add in just the right amount to give a bit of heat to the soup. Please don’t tell Jesus that he thinks I’m weird.”
HS, and I discussed the value of each vegetable and whether
or not it was suitable for such a wonderful soup. We pared and peeled when
needed and over-all we decided I had picked good vegetables from the market. HS
also reminded me that I had some fresh tomatoes that would add a nice bit of
freshness. These were the last from my garden, so I offered a prayer and HS
blessed them. I mean you can’t have too many prayers or too many blessings, can
you?
I then went out into my garden and HS and I picked rosemary,
sage and fennel. Thanking each one for their contribution to the soup. We only took a little of the thyme because it
needs to grow a bit more, it’s a bit over picked, and HS said the basil was
just too tired and needs to go live with her now.
HS asked if I had any frozen or canned vegetables available
and looking through the freezer, I found a packet of squash and peas adding
them to my growing pile of vegetables. In the pantry, I found corn, beans, and
garbanzo beans which when rinsed to remove excess salt (who wants that in their
soup) added them to the bowl.
After browning the shallot and garlic, adding chopped fresh turmeric
and a couple strands of saffron (yes. I use saffron) I dumped all of the chopped,
frozen, and canned veg’s into the pot along with vegetable broth, water, and
all of the chopped herbs. HS asked me “will
you be adding the secret ingredient” and I said “Shhh, If I tell it wouldn’t be
a secret.” HS blessed our efforts and
our soup is now simmering to wonderful goodness. We are currently considering baking a loaf of
bread.
I suppose you think I am weird, imagining I am cooking
alongside the Holy Spirit. Well one, I don’t care what you think, and two, how
do you know I wasn’t. You see I often
feel I am not alone, that someone walks beside me, or sits with me as I read. I
guess I could be insane, but I rather think that it doesn’t matter. I sit and meditate, I offer prayers, and they
must go somewhere don’t they. So why couldn’t the Holy Spirit come and spend
time with me as I cook?
I’m not one to run around and brag or tell people “Jesus
saves” (he doesn’t by the way, but I’ll save that thought for later). I rather
let what I do and say inform people. I will share this soup with others,
guests, (Luke hint, hint) and of course my husband will enjoy our efforts. I have been known to take soup to those who
need it because feeding others always brings a smile to their faces, and mine,
besides it is a mandate of the Holy Spirit.
To create something that will nourishes others is such a
wonderful feeling. To feel the vegetable
in your hand, pick it from the ground or vine gives me a connection with all
creation. I know where my food comes from, how it was grown I watched the sun shine
on the baby plants and the rain water it. I watched as the bees pollinated my
tomato blossoms and herb blossoms and we shook the dirt off of potatoes,
carrots, and onions, so yes, I know where my food comes from and who to thank.
I am grateful for the opportunity to spend time with the HS to offer my thanks
for food that feeds my body as her presence feeds my spirit. So, if I think the Holy Spirit is right there
with me in the kitchen it means I know who to thank for all I have
received.
“Ah, Ruth”
“Yes HS”
“Why not share your recipe and a prayer, now that you have
made everyone hungry?”
“What a wonderful idea.”
“Ok, here is my Basic Vegetable soup recipe for you to
change up and make your own.”
My prayer for you is:
Holy Spirit, we ask you to bless the ground that nourished our
vegetables, the sun that shone upon them, and the rain that watered them. Bless
the hands that harvested and carried them to us and bless the hands that
prepared them. May this soup bless our
bodies as you bless our souls. AMEN
Ruth’s Vegetable Soup (This recipe freezes well)
4 cups vegetable broth or 2 cups broth and 2 cups water
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
Vegetables: (all vegetables are optional, add meat if you wish)
Potatoes, diced
Turnips, diced
Carrots (diced), Peas, Corn either Fresh, frozen, or canned
Celery, diced
½ of a small to medium shallot, diced
1-3 garlic cloves, minced,
1 15oz. Can diced tomatoes
1 or 2 medium fresh tomatoes, diced
½ to 1 red pepper, diced
Either 1-3 small hot banana Peppers, or 2 chipotle peppers, (+1 to 2 tsps.
adobe sauce), Diced
Spices
and Herbs: (change up the herbs to your taste)
1 teaspoon dry Turmeric or 2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh
Turmeric
few threads of saffron
1 teaspoon dried thyme or 2 teaspoons fresh thyme
½ teaspoon Herbs de Provence
2 teaspoons fresh rosemary
2 fresh bay leaves
Sea salt and fresh ground pepper to taste
Directions:
Melt the oil and butter in a large soup pot, add the onions
and garlic. Add the turmeric and saffron, cook until the onions are soft and
golden. Add the celery and peppers to
the pot stir until covered in the turmeric liquid. Add the rest of the vegetables, broth (or
broth/water), herbs and spices. Simmer
for 1 to 2 hours until all vegetables are “al dente.” Serve hot with fresh bread. If you wish top
with sharp cheddar cheese and chives.
Note: This is an
easily modified recipe. You can add
squash, or other vegetables, or change herbs or spices (I use Turmeric because
of its anti-cancer properties). Fresh Parsley is lovely. You can add meat to this but I am a
vegetarian so that is problematic for me.
Meister Eckhart’s Book of Secrets, M.S. Burrows & J.M. Sweeney Hampton Roads Publishing, 2019, pg. 70
Yesterday I received my copy of Meister Eckhart’s Book of Secrets and with some excitement opened the book, to this random page. It took me only a moment to read the few lines of the poem, but a lot longer for the shock to quiet, and the wonder set in. You see there have been more moments in my life than I care to admit that God has offered this prayer for me. This 7-line poem, inspired by Eckhart’s Selected Writings, was an unlooked-for blessing in a moment of need. Because today, you see, I needed to be reminded that God prays for me, that God wants me.
In the hours since I read the poem, I have thought of the many different ways I’ve answered Gods prayer and how many times I’ve ignored it. Over the years I’ve spent time talking to God asking why God would want to be born in me, me, a not so good, not so joyful, not so loving human. A human filled with anger, frustration, confusion and, I’m just going to say this, hate. What would the Divine Being find worthy in me, despite my constantly ignoring the gift?
I’m afraid, even to this day, I haven’t found a whole lot of answers to my questions for God. Unfortunately, God can be quite silent on the reasons why, but persistent in praying. I guess I will have to be satisfied with knowing God wants me to have grace, especially since I remember many of the strange, wonderful, and mystical moments I have experienced. Before I offer a story that illustrates this, let me digress for just a bit.
The idea that God wants the Spirits grace to belong to me, us, that God prays we will want grace given, full abundant grace, without strings attached, has always felt just a little odd. God’s grace is a gift fit for royal/holy beings, and it is being given to you and me! Why wouldn’t any of us want such a gift? As humans we are used to knowing that nothing in this life is free. There are always strings attached, we may not see them, may not even be aware of them, but they are there. Yet here is the Divine just handing it out, for free.
God says the gift of grace is freely, abundantly given and without the necessity of paying back. To me that means in God’s eyes you and I are royal, holy beings, all we have to do is accept the gift. More importantly God wants to be born within us, to become part of us, and that means you and I become part of God. Now that is an offer we cannot turn down, right. Well we can and do turn it down for many reasons such as stubbornness, stupidity, or more likely fear. To be part of God, part of the creator, means we are partners in creation, and that means we are responsible for the care and wellbeing of creation and each other. That means we are to care for the weak, the young, the elderly, the stranger whether they are like us or not. So, yes all of us have turned God down, repeatably. The thing is God keeps asking, God never gives up on us. That is the God I know, a God who keeps trying, and keeps asking no matter how scared, stubborn, or stupid we might be.
Pride can be both a good and a bad trait, unfortunately for me pride is not always the best trait to have. Thirty or so years ago I thought I knew it all, I didn’t need God in my life, I didn’t need anyone, and, in my arrogance, I chose to do some things I’m now not very proud of. I didn’t break the law, but I hurt people who had trusted me. When I came to my senses, I realized somethings had to change but I wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. Life can be funny sometimes and in one of those moments I had an experience that changed how I saw myself, my relationship with the Divine, and my relationship with the rest of creation. So, here is the first time I found God’s grace freely given.
As a graduate student at the University of Houston School of Public Health I often had the opportunity to go along with the biologists on bird banding trips in the Gulf of Mexico. We would band baby gulls and terns in the morning and then spend a couple of hours swimming in the gulf before returning to school. On this occasion I was floating along, I don’t swim so I was simply bobbing along while wearing a life vest, I was enjoying the warm water and the sun when I felt something brush against my leg. I looked down into the water and couldn’t see anything, so I thought I was imagining it when I felt it again. My friend called from the boat and told me to be very still and hold my hand out at the surface of the water. I didn’t know why I should, but I did.
To my amazement a fin appeared under my hand and a dolphin rose up and pulled me along in the water. I looked into the water and there were 3 or 4 dolphins swimming around me. At first, they moved me away from the boat and just let me “ride” against them. I could hear clicks and squeaks and they seemed to want to talk to me. So, I talked to them, I was told later for about 15 to 20 minutes, which seemed to pass like seconds. For some unknown reason I told them about my fears, how confused I was, and how unkind I’d been. Amazingly they moved in closer and seemed to “hug” me, the air around me took on a golden color and I felt something within I had never felt before. Slowly they guided me back to our boat and sank into the gulf. Before I knew it, I was being pulled from the water. My friends told me they had never seen anything like it before. I, on the hand, seemed to be in this bubble of serenity. For the rest of the trip friends told me I had this rather goofy smile on my face.
I can’t say that everything was wonderful following that experience but, inside I felt a wall come down and the Divine stepping in. Life is still life, and not all events are perfect, but I found that letting go and letting someone else lead me gave me a new perspective on how to live my life. God’s prayer that I would want the grace given, that I would welcome the birth of God within had been answered that day. There have been other moments when I have forgotten the God within. But after going my own way and needing to be reminded as to who I am, who I belonged to, I would renew my relationship with God. I have found this is an ongoing process for me and suspect it is for everyone. But that moment in the Gulf of Mexico was the first time, and a special moment that has helped me recognize God’s presence, and God’s reminders.
When I opened
my copy of this book of poems and saw this prayer it made me smile, it made my
memories smile, it made me open my arms and once again welcome God. If nothing
else this little prayer has made the whole book worthwhile. I desired God’s
grace. I opened my heart and God has moved in. I am part of God, God is part of
me, I am God’s partner in this amazing creative universe. I pray I am a good
part (at least most of the time). Now my prayer for you:
May you desire God’s grace, grace freely, abundantly, given, so that God will be born within you. Amen
Today the Rev. Dr. William J. Barber, II will be joined by members of the Poor Peoples Campaign to demand justice from the Trump Administration. My thoughts and prayers go with them because this administration has no respect for the poor or disadvantaged. We have seen in the deserts of the Southwest how they have criminalized compassion and, as a result, I do not expect Dr. Barber or the Poor Peoples Campaign to be welcomed with compassion. I offer this prayer for their safety and that closed hearts will be opened.
WE COME THIS DAY
We come this day to the Father, We come this day to the Son, We come to the Holy Spirit powerful; We come this day with God, We come this day with Christ, We come with the Spirit of love and kindness.
We come this day to open closed hearts to the Creator, We come this day to heal wounded hearts of hate and fear, We come this day to heal the blind, to see Jesus in our brother, our sister, We come this day to set the fire of holiness in each other. We come this day to shout God’s words of justice, mercy and compassion.
God, and Spirit, and Jesus, From the crown of our heads To the soles of our feet; We come with our reputation, We come with our testimony, We come to you, Jesus; Jesus, guide us, shelter us. AMEN
Over the years I have practiced many different types of
meditations. However, in the last year
or so my meditation time has become erratic, as a result so has my well-being. So
I recently began to meditate again, and being the crazy person I am, I volunteered
to lead a six-week Centering Prayer session at my church, Queen Anne Christian
Church. Which has me working really hard
to re‑integrate prayer into my daily schedule.
You would think that wouldn’t be hard for me as I am retired and haven’t
many obligations outside my home. I
should have plenty of time right. But never underestimate the power of
procrastination or the ability of a retired person to fill up their days. Besides,
I’ve done this before, this should be easy, right, NOT.
The process of Centering Prayer isn’t difficult, but it is
hard, and I know that’s a contradiction. I have learned it is harder to give up
control and enter into a meaningful and restful prayer time than it is to read
about it. There is a reason such prayers
are called “practice” because that is what you have to do. Our post‑modern
minds resist the act of sitting in silence and letting go of daily matters, it
wants to control our time, and it will fight back when we do practice a
meditative prayer. A minds rebellion takes the form of “monkey mind” or having the
inner voice inside of our head keep up a running chatter and we can’t get quiet
in order in meditator. This is where that annoying word “practice” comes in.
Practice is the only way shut down the chatter, when you finally
succeed then you will experience the quiet that allows you to ‘hear’, feel the
presence of God? One thing I do when I am
starting, or restarting, a new meditation practice is to limit the length of
time I meditate. Currently I am only meditating for 20 minutes at a time. Any
longer and I can’t keep day to day, mundane things from intruding. In centering
prayer, you select a word or short phrase, repeating it softly to help focus
the prayer and settle the mind. I admit to making good use of my centering word
in fact, when I first restarted my centering prayer, I think I spent the whole
20 minutes saying it and still the day’s trivia called to me.
One addition to my prayer time is helping me along. I am holding my Chihuahua’s as I meditate.
Their soft breathing /snores, and warm, soft bodies provides an extra barrier
to daily interruptions. I know many
can’t hold a pet, but, if you have a pet you can hold or have sit near you,
they are a comfort.
Esmerelda and Louis
If you live with
someone they can, and often do, become an obstacle to meditative prayer. You need to spend in prayer should be a quiet
time, with no distractions. However, when there is someone else you need, or
wants, will intrude on your quiet time, especially when you have children. Husbands, wives, and children often don’t
understand why you want to sit in silence and have time alone for 20 or so
minutes. It is not just yourself who must work to enter into a rhythm of daily
prayer, your family also has to know about, understand and accept that for 20
or 30 minutes a day you are unavailable. That is, unless someone breaks a bone
or is bleeding, I end my meditation for those. We all have those events we
cannot nor should ignore and that is perfectly OK. After all prayer time isn’t something we have
to do, it something we want to do and enjoy while we do it. I have found that setting up a space designated
for my prayer/meditation time. I have a table,
candles, a chair with a soft blanket and a dog bed for my meditation partners.
It’s one of my favorite places.
Those are my struggles with centering prayer. I’m sure
others will experience different issues. I know many who struggle with “monkey
mind,” and I have troubles with monkey mind as well. Over time, with practice,
I have been able to somewhat quiet the babble in my head. It will happen for
you as well, just don’t dwell on it and realize that it is a normal response when
starting meditation.
If any of you practice a contemplative spiritual practice or
are starting one, I send you my prayers for peace, silence, joy, and rest. May you find your moment with the Holy Spirit.
You call this Friday good
but today the Good died
all love hung on a cross
the sky cried
the earth broke it’s heart
the darkness of the soul covered the earth
We hide behind locked
doors
grief grips our hearts
fear takes our minds
we wait for the knock
we wait to be dragged to our own cross
we wait, . . . we wait
Breath of . . .
God
Voice of . . .
God
Touch of . . .
God
Taste of . . .
God
Sight of . . .
God
Smell of . . .
God
Joy of . . .
God
Jealousy of . . .
God
Loyalty of . . .
God
Sadness of . . .
God
Anger of . . .
God
Tears of . . .
God
Love of . . .
God
Compassion of . . .
God
Forgiveness of . . .
God
Laughter of . . .
God
Beauty of . . .
God
Faith of . . .
God
Grace of . . .
God
Peace of . . .
God
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, Virginia December 2, 2015. Salon.com
I have a confession to make, I pity Donald Trump. I have gone through several stages regarding “the Donald” in the last few years, from repulsion to dislike, to anger, to downright hate. But in the last couple of days I have surprised myself by realizing I simply pity a sad little man. A small, sad, unlikable man who wants to be liked. Yes, I have compassion for this spoiled, paranoid, mentally ill man who has gotten himself into a position he has no idea how to handle and has put us all at risk. That surprised me.
I have taught tolerance and compassion on this page for several years and now I realize that I need to practice what I teach. Despite his sexual misconduct, his spoiled little rich boy tantrums, his lies, his bully boy swagger I am called to love this man. Not like, and certainly not support, his behavior or his lies, but, love as Jesus of Nazareth in the Gospels would. Not the love being taught by those who pervert the Gospel, and there are too many of those in the press right now, but with compassion for someone who is in mental pain, and ill. I am called to understand that this small little man is unable to understand what being a human being entails because he was never taught how to be a human being. His examples in life were as broken as he is and he has perpetuated that brokenness within his own family. That is sad.
Now, Donald Trump is not an easy person to have compassion for. His mental illness keeps him from recognizing how much damage his lies and actions cause. His self-centeredness and ego keep him focused only on himself and that prevents him from seeing the world around him as worthwhile and valued, unless it is feeding him. Unfortunately, he has landed himself in a position he doesn’t understand, making him easily manipulated by foreign powers and those in the GOP who want power. However, as my mother would say, “you made your bed, now lie in it.” It is not that I will ever support him or the GOP when they put people, our country, and our world at risk but I will at least try to understand that what he does comes from a background that was devoid of compassion for others. He may have grown up monetarily wealthy but his life has no richness to it. He is one of the poorest people on earth. That is the reason he strikes out at those who have found life with meaning that doesn’t encompass only gold. That is reason he strikes at President Obama, because he is loved and Donald isn’t, not even by his family. That makes his heart small, his life small, and that deserves our, my, compassion.
To love someone that is unlovable is hard and I can only say this new practice of compassion and love is a work in progress. So, expect backsliding. I will continue to resist, protest, letter write, and even tweet at “the Donald.” However, I will temper my statements with as much kindness I can muster at the moment and I will add this man to my prayer list. Jesus said to love the unlovable, the sick, the poor, and the imprisoned and Donald is unlovable, poor, and imprisoned in walls of his own making and the making of his family. But he is one of God’s beloveds and that is all that matters. I am not sure how successful I will be but I will try, so, help me Holy Spirit.
A Quiet Walk 