I Am Tired of Crying

For the last two months I have been in tears or close to tears. Every time I hear of someone dying unnecessarily from the Covid virus because they are poor, an immigrant, or an indigenous person, I cry. Every time I hear someone has to go to work without the proper health care or safety precautions because they need to survive, I cry. Every time I hear of a black man, woman, or child being harassed by a police officer who should not be on the streets, I cry. Every time I hear of a black man, or woman being killed by police officers who have no place carrying a badge, I cry. Every time I hear a person of color cry out “I can’t breathe,” I cry. Every time I hear of a political leader speak callous, cruel words because they want to exert their power, I cry. Every time our state or federal legislators refuse to acknowledge the humanity of every person in this country, Black, brown, yellow, white, womxn, man, LGBQT, or differently abled because they are poor or just different, I cry. Every time I hear white men with guns verbally and physically abusing those who disagree with them, I cry. 

I am tired of crying.

All I want are the children of this country to grow up without tears, without pain, and without suffering. I want each child to know that those in authority care for them no matter their skin color, religious affiliation, or who they are. I want every child to know they are loved, cared for, because without the children we have no future, no life, no anything.

All I want are the people to recognize how racism, hate, white privilege and white supremacy are destroying our country. All I want is each person to be seen for who they are rather than what someone labels them. I want an end to the injustice meted out to people only because they are different from those who wrongly call themselves the elite. I want people to see each other as members of the same species, Homo sapiens sapiens, not different, all the same. I want the insanity of hate and greed of those in power to end. Is that too much to ask for?

I am tired of crying.

I am a white womxn, an old white womxn and am no longer able to go into the streets and carry banners, but I can scream, really loud.  I am screaming right now, through my tears. 

STOP HURTING EACH OTHER!
STOP KILLING EACH OTHER!
STOP TREATING EACH OTHER AS LESS THAN YOU!

START CARING FOR EACH OTHER!

START HOLDING EACH OTHER!

START FINDING HOW EACH OF YOU ARE ALIKE!

START LOVING EACH OTHERS’ DIFFERENCES!

BLACK LIVES MATTER!

WOMXNS’ LIVES MATTER!

HISPANIC LIVES MATTER!

ASIAN LIVES MATTER!

INDIGINEOUS LIVES MATTER!

LGBQT LIVES MATTER!

THE DIFFERENTLY ABLED LIVES MATTER!

YOU MATTER!

Ruth Jewell, ©June 1, 2020

I Apologize

I have been watching the protests, the reports of the violence and I am heartbroken and angry all at once. I am ashamed of white people who have profited from the abuse and suppression of Black lives, and all persons of color who seem to think that creating chaos and violence will make people of color submit to their will. I want to see them severely punished for disrupting peaceful demonstrations held in the memory of lives abused, oppressed, marginalized. 

But I too am white, and I have benefited from my privilege as a white person. Whether or not I have directly done anything, at some level I AM also responsible for marginalizing, abusing, and oppressing blacks and other peoples of color.

Whenever I have been silent in the face of abuse, walked on the other side of the street in fear, or purchased products at “reasonable rates” I have contributed to the culture of racism. I can claim I had no choice in how others are treated. I can claim that I am afraid of somone in a black skin. I can say at least those who make my clothes have a job, or it’s not my business, but that is just to make me feel better. It does nothing to change the cultural systems that perpetrate them.

For thousands of years, communities have allowed so called leaders to dominate, abuse, and, in most cases, enslave them, all in the name of community safety. When communities began to resist that enslavement, they turned to the communities around them. When white populations resisted systematic oppression, those rulers turned to Africa and the indigenous populations. They destroyed communities as old and culturally advanced as Europe’s and after the destruction lying that they never existed. Racism was created only because white leaders, and their willing communities, wanted cheap labor, and someone to feel superior to.

We who are white have much to repent for. We have perpetrated the lies of racism for hundreds of years. We have perpetrated lies of less intelligence, less sophistication, less humanity for hundreds of years. There is only one human species, Homo sapien sapien, all humans are brothers and sisters, all have the same humanity.

My black friends are different from me only in their passions, there interests, there desire to do things in ways different from me. What they do differently complements what I do, that is why we are community. My black, brown, yellow sisters and brothers are not objects for ridicule, abuse, or enslavement, rather they are kind, compassionate, loving, merciful, peaceful, intelligent, amazing people who I am proud to call friends.

I apologize to all my friends, Blacks and persons of color, if I have ever, ever, been less than respectful of your humanity. I hope you will forgive me for my stupidity and I will, I am, trying very hard to be a better defender and ally for you in your struggle to end the injustices being perpetrated today, and right the injustices of the last 4 hundred years. All I ask for is your forgiveness.

Ruth Jewel, ©May 31, 2020    

Lectio Divina: August 3, 2018, Ordinary Time 1 Corinthians 13 (NRSV)

13 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrong doing but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Meditation:

This passage from 1 Corinthians is probably one of the most well-known writings of Paul, yet no one understands or follows the simple mandate, love each other. Love, everyone knows what it is, everyone wants it, and it is probably the most hoarded grace of all time. Oscar Hammerstein II, wrote:

“A bell’s not a bell ’til you ring it –
A song’s not a song ’til you sing it –
Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay –
Love isn’t love ’til you give it away!”

Love isn’t something you say, it’s something you do, you must express love in some way for it to have any meaning. To give it away is to hold someone when they hurt, offer the essentials of survival to those in desperate need, or sit and listen when no one will, that is love.

It sounds so simple and it is so hard to do. We humans just can’t get the idea of love right. The author of 1st Peter said: “Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (4:8) Or, if you love enough you will let the irritations of life go. Unfortunately letting go is the farthest from many of our minds or behavior. God loved the Hebrews and as a result forgave them their sins repeatedly, and then he sent prophet after prophet to remind them of that love. God sent Jesus to tell the gentiles (that’s you and me) divine love was there for the asking. Trouble is we don’t ask, and we don’t give, we hoard.

All too often our lives are filled with the endings of love and compassion what we need are the beginnings, the constant expression of love, our eyes are dimmed to the graciousness that surrounds us and all creation. Love comes in many forms and, sadly, the only way we observe it is when we are hit over the head with compassion, kindness, and mercy. Yes I know there are those who say the word love and believe it’s good enough or they believe love only applies to those who think like they do, but saying is not enough, loving only those who love you is not enough. You must put love into action and when love is freely given away to all, it multiplies hundreds, thousands of times over and over.

Today our government promotes hate, greed, and racism as part of the evangelical cult that’s taken over our politicians’ lives. Love has no place in their world view, they love only those who see the world in their own twisted way. We see the result of their twisted understanding of love every time a person of color is killed, a law officer is killed, hate groups such as Nazis are allowed, encouraged, to harass and hurt people different from them. We see the hording of love every time we see injustice and when we keep silent and do nothing we become part of that cult of hatred and hoarding.

If we are to be faithful to Paul’s words and the teachings of each prophet God has sent, then we must put ourselves between those who do not show or share love with those in need. When we do not act we are just as guilty of hording love, compassion, justice, mercy and peace. It is our responsibility, our ministry, our job to act and pass the grace of love on multiplying it into infinity.

Ruth Jewell, ©August 3, 2018

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Women’s March, January 21, 2017 Seattle WA, Photo by Ruth Jewell

2017, A NEW YEAR?

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A new year has begun and I am not sure what it will bring. Usually I have a sense of new beginnings, or I have excited expectations and hope as I pick up from where I left off and start over again. Not this year though. There has been too much acrimony, too much hate, too many lies, too much racism, and too little justice, mercy, kindness, and peace for me to look forward to the coming year. Sad really, because it seems 2017 is already defeated before it is a week old. I am afraid 2017 will just be a year of more hateful speech, more injustice, more discrimination, and more violence.

There is no one person to blame, we all are responsible for the atmosphere of distrust and hate we see every day, in the news, from our politicians, from our neighbors. Let me make this clear, you and I are to blame from the people who fear the changes created in the last 30 years. We forgot that people might not understand, might not be willing to accept those changes. We assumed they would go along “when the discovered how much better they had it.” But they didn’t. No, they felt left out of the process, unasked, and left behind, and they felt their concerns and issues weren’t being addressed.

Yes, they could have become involved and worked with those of us who believed we were working to better the lives of everyone, and the environment. But somehow, they didn’t feel as if they could. Maybe they didn’t believe as we did, maybe they needed to be given more information, maybe they just needed more time to assimilate all the information being thrown at them. Whatever the reason some people became alienated and open to manipulation by those whose agenda is to turn back the clock to a time when only the few profited from the bounty of this country.

Maybe the reason for the divide is that those of us who want to see us progress broke into interest groups who fought over what issue was most important when, in reality, all of it is. No one has ever bothered to look at the larger picture. To try developing a program that would have given equal emphasis to each issue. To bring together the disparate interest groups formulate a policy that would have benefited each area of interest. The modernization of each issue, environment, inclusivity, racism, woman’s rights, children’s right, poverty, immigration, all of them, each is dependent on the other.

What do we do now that we have a president whose only interest is his own personal gain, a congress dominated by old white men bent on preserving white privilege, and the hate and racism propagated during the last eight years by has let loose violence and terror in our communities. Well, to start we work together, all interest groups working together to keep what has been achieved from being lost. Our job now is to stand up when we see abuse or harassment and protect the victims, stopping hate speech when we hear it, and working to prevent injustice wherever we see it. None of this is easy. It isn’t easy to do and it isn’t easy to work up the courage to take a stand. But that is what we are called to do.

I am a person of faith, and 2016 sorely tested that faith. Yet I still believe in what I was taught that we are to act justly and to love kindness, mercy, and compassion. We as a people of many faiths and beliefs are called to care for the disinherited, the lost, the incarcerated, elderly, young, and the stranger. That doesn’t change even though it has become much more difficult at the moment. History moves in many ways and we repeat our mistakes over and over again. We have the possibility to achieve great heights or astounding lows. The choice is ours. Do we repeat history or do we show that we can change history.

Ruth Jewell, ©January 3, 2017