I Apologize

I have been watching the protests, the reports of the violence and I am heartbroken and angry all at once. I am ashamed of white people who have profited from the abuse and suppression of Black lives, and all persons of color who seem to think that creating chaos and violence will make people of color submit to their will. I want to see them severely punished for disrupting peaceful demonstrations held in the memory of lives abused, oppressed, marginalized. 

But I too am white, and I have benefited from my privilege as a white person. Whether or not I have directly done anything, at some level I AM also responsible for marginalizing, abusing, and oppressing blacks and other peoples of color.

Whenever I have been silent in the face of abuse, walked on the other side of the street in fear, or purchased products at “reasonable rates” I have contributed to the culture of racism. I can claim I had no choice in how others are treated. I can claim that I am afraid of somone in a black skin. I can say at least those who make my clothes have a job, or it’s not my business, but that is just to make me feel better. It does nothing to change the cultural systems that perpetrate them.

For thousands of years, communities have allowed so called leaders to dominate, abuse, and, in most cases, enslave them, all in the name of community safety. When communities began to resist that enslavement, they turned to the communities around them. When white populations resisted systematic oppression, those rulers turned to Africa and the indigenous populations. They destroyed communities as old and culturally advanced as Europe’s and after the destruction lying that they never existed. Racism was created only because white leaders, and their willing communities, wanted cheap labor, and someone to feel superior to.

We who are white have much to repent for. We have perpetrated the lies of racism for hundreds of years. We have perpetrated lies of less intelligence, less sophistication, less humanity for hundreds of years. There is only one human species, Homo sapien sapien, all humans are brothers and sisters, all have the same humanity.

My black friends are different from me only in their passions, there interests, there desire to do things in ways different from me. What they do differently complements what I do, that is why we are community. My black, brown, yellow sisters and brothers are not objects for ridicule, abuse, or enslavement, rather they are kind, compassionate, loving, merciful, peaceful, intelligent, amazing people who I am proud to call friends.

I apologize to all my friends, Blacks and persons of color, if I have ever, ever, been less than respectful of your humanity. I hope you will forgive me for my stupidity and I will, I am, trying very hard to be a better defender and ally for you in your struggle to end the injustices being perpetrated today, and right the injustices of the last 4 hundred years. All I ask for is your forgiveness.

Ruth Jewel, ©May 31, 2020    

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