Ruth 1:16-17
16But Ruth said,
“Do not press me to leave you
or to turn back from following you!
Where you go, I will go;
Where you lodge, I will lodge;
your people shall be my people,
and your God my God.
17Where you die, I will die—
there will I be buried.
May the Lord do thus and so to me,
and more as well,
if even death parts me from you!”
John 14:23
23Jesus answered him, “Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.
2 Corinthians 5:6-9
6So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord— 7for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8Yes, we do have confidence, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.
Our book group has been reading and discussing Diana Butler Bass’ book, Christianity After Religion, and in Chapter 6 Bass discusses home and identity. I actually had trouble with this section because I’m not sure what is home for me. I mean I have a home; I live in a house, with my husband, one dog, 2 parrots and a seminary student so that isn’t the issue. What is my question is “what does home mean?”
I grew up in Ohio and moved to a farm when I was 5 years old so for the next 19 years of my life my “home” was this wonderland place chock full of discoveries, and sadness. When I was 24 I moved from the farm and began a kind of nomadic life. I moved every couple of years from home to apartment, state to state, city to city, and moving many times within cities. My latest move was in 2000, when I was married, and moved into the house I am now living. When I moved into this house I told John, this was my last move and I would be carried out of here feet first because I wasn’t going to pack up all my “stuff” again! But, given my past history that may be a wish made on sand and someday I will have to, reluctantly, move from this house.
When we discussed what was home in our book group I realized I was the only one who had no clear sense of home. In fact I have no sense of a home town, or place of origin at all. All of the places I have lived are really far in the past and clouded with time. Does that sound strange to you? It didn’t to me until I began to listen to the stories of home from others. For instance my husband can identify one spot as his hometown, St. Charles Iowa. That is where he was born and grew up and despite not living there for 50 some years he still calls it home.
I can’t do that; there is no one place I would call home. Heck, there are times when I drive up my own driveway that I have to remind myself this is my “home” and I belong here. For me where I am is home. As long as I have my friends, companion critters and now the family I married into I’m home. I don’t have relatives to speak of. My parents have passed on; I haven’t seen any of my family of origin in 40 some years. The family I have is the family I have created around me, a group of individuals, couples, and families I feel strong connections with. Not one of them is a blood relative and that is fine with me. Yet I feel closer to this group than I ever did to my blood relations.
It is not that they all think like I do because they don’t. In fact, my guess is we have become friends because we think differently. But they share something with me that my “own family” never did and that is themselves. If I need a shoulder to cry on I can count on one of them showing up at my door saying, “Ruth, I had a feeling you needed a friend today.” Even when great distance separates us I can sense when a good friend needs me to call and talk. The conversation may be nothing important at all but it means something to my friend and me. I can’t say my own family would ever feel that connected to me.
For me home is where I am, right now, in this place, at this time. It means for me being with God, family, companions, friends, creation in whatever place or time I am in. If I had to suddenly leave the place I currently shelter in I can do it. I would grab what is important: my husband, my companion critters, my backpack throw in my bible and a change of clothes (my vanity wouldn’t let me wear the same underwear two days in a row, I’d add soap as well for cleanliness is next to Godliness),and walk out closing the door behind me. The stuff in the building is just stuff and can be replaced, none of it is important. As long as I have those that I love (and a change of underwear) I’m good to go. Were I end up I’d be HOME.
So I guess I am saying I am “home” wherever I am, I don’t need a specific location to call “home” I just need to feel close to what is important and what is important is love and companionship with those who I love and who love me. God will not abandon me, where I am God is because I experience God in the love I give and receive. What else is needed? Someone once said “home is where your heart is” and maybe what that means is my heart is my home, the ultimate shelter, the ultimate place I meet and live with Love. I am Home.
Ruth Jewell, ©April 12, 2013
A Quiet Walk 
Ruth, I can certainly understand how you feel. I can relate. From the time I was a small child until I married at age 24, my family moved all the time. I attended over 20 schools from 1st grade until high school graduation. I was always the “new” kid. I attended 1 sometimes 2 new schools every year. No, I wasn’t an Army brat. . .I was from a family who moved to beat the rent or other bill collectors. The home I live in now is the first time I have lived in one place and our children could attend school and college from the same address. That means a lot to me.
My feeling of home then is here, where my love lives. . .my husband, children and is now the place where our children come home and bring their their children. So for me, home is where I can feel love, welcome and acceptance.
I really love your blog. . .thanks for all the good things you share with all of us!
May you be blessed!!!
SandyO
LikeLike
Thank you Sandy. Sometimes we forget other also experience the same feelings and emotions we have and my blog has allowed me to connect with those who feel as I do as well as those who don’t. It is a privilege to be able to express what I do and I am grateful for that.
Ruth
LikeLike
Ruth, I read your post today with real interest. I did not know how mobile your growing years were, interesting. I lived in the same house until I went to Eugene, OR to NCU for my undergraduate degree. I had not been more than 50 miles away from home! Because that sense of place was so important to me, I wanted that experience for my family when I entered the ministry. Typically minister’s kids move sometimes as often as military children. That was a gift I was able to give them, living most of their lives in Kent. I found an excellent read in “The Wisdom of Stability – Rooting Fath in a Mobile Culture” ;by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove (one of the new-monastics). His insights are helpful whether we move or stay put. Thanks for your narrative and insight.
LikeLike
Thanks Marvin, I am going to look for the book you referenced. It sounds quite interesting
LikeLike
Thank you, Ruth, I really like this post. Perhaps that’s because I relate, having lived in many different states as a child. Coincidentally (do you believe in coincidences?), I am currently reading a chapter called “(A)Way from Home: Jeremiah 29:5-7” for my Jeremiah class (from a book called “Empire and Exile.” It speaks of how this chapter of Jeremiah speaks to the diaspora and exile of Israelites from Jerusalem, and how it forced them to find a new identity – trying to cling to their old identity in a world very new to them. It talks a little bit about what home means, and how that definition changes when a person leaves their original home. One quote… “Consequently, for the unhomely, being thrust into the world forces new articulations of identity, culture, and systems of meaning as these relate to strange and hostile counterparts.” It’s very interesting.
if you’re interested, here’s a review of the book: http://www.bloomsbury.com/us/empire-and-exile-9780567437044/ It is written by my professor and is VERY expensive. I hear a paperback version will be coming out soon. We (in class) have been reading from a copy held in the library. I do have some chapters photocopied, though, if you want to borrow them at some point.
LikeLike
Sounds like a great book, I will look for it and hope the paperback version comes soon. Thanks for your comments
LikeLike