TOO OLD?

Genesis 12:1-4   1Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.2I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.3I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

4So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran.

What does it mean to be “too old?”  That is a question I have been pondering for the last several weeks.   In early September I was supposed to travel to Switzerland to begin a four and half month period of study at the Ecumenical Institute in Bossey.  I was accepted to the program by both the Ecumenical Institute and the University of Geneva all that I needed to complete the paper work was a visa for a temporary student residency from the Canton of Vaud.  Unfortunately the letter I did receive was that they were going to deny me a visa because I was over the age of 30 (I’m 65) and they normally didn’t give temporary student residency visa to those over 30.  They said I was already in the work force and therefore didn’t need to expand my learning skills.  Needless to say I was stunned at the letter and even though I appealed this decision they still denied me entry. 

I do not feel “old.”  In fact I have just completed my Master’s of Divinity Degree and am looking forward to whatever G-d has planned for me.  I still don’t know what that is but I’m sure G-d does.  So am I at 65 old?  Well yes, I am older than those in their 30’s or 40’s or 50’s but does that mean I should go and sit in a rocking chair?  I do have a very nice one and I love to sit in it and read but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life doing that. I think G-d has more planned for me and that is something I have often felt when a change is in the air.   In fact I was adding up how many different careers I’ve had in the last 40 years and I think this is my 5th one.  This Masters degree is my second one and the one I am the most fond of, the one I feel the most blessed to have achieved.   I worked hard and earned this degree, it was never handed to me just because I was the oldest one in the room.  So when do we stop learning, when do we become unable to be a gift to those around us, to all creation?

 I don’t believe we ever stop learning or growing if we have the desire to do so.  I don’t believe that G-d ever intended us to stop being partners in creation.  The G-d I know doesn’t have a retirement plan and we never become redundant in the eyes of the Holy Spirit.  In scripture it is rare for a young person to be the one called on by God.  Abram, Sarah, Jacob, Moses, even Jesus were well into their adult years when they were called to be messengers and founders of our faith.  Mohammed and the Buddha were also called late in life.  It takes living to be able to understand the difficulties, joy, tears, and beauty of what it means to respond to a call of the Spirit.  I’m not saying someone in their 20’s can’t do it, I’m simply saying in general the more life we experience the more compassion and patience we have and the more willing we are to offer mercy. 

As a young adult I was very quick to make judgments and did not worrying about the consequences.  As I’ve grown older I recognize what is really important in my life, allowing the smaller more insignificant things to simply take care of themselves.  I have also learned that what I thought was important was not and that the important things are fewer but more precious.

I have since learned that age discrimination is not at all uncommon in Europe and that people who are of a “certain” age must retire and stop being productive citizens of the community.  Age discrimination is also common in this country, but, we are changing simply because within the next 10 years there will be more people over the age of 65 than those who are younger.  We in America are beginning to recognize the value of working long after what our parents and grandparents understood as retirement.  I am at the beginning of the Baby-Boomer generation and those that come after me will rewrite the rules for what it means to grow old.

A growing life does not stop unless you turn away from it and let it die and I have seen that happen.  I have seen educated productive individuals accept the image of age put on them, and let their advantage of wisdom wither on the vine.  I however refuse to let that happen to me.  I “will not go gently into that dark night” as Dylan Thomas so beautifully states it.  God is not through with me yet.  The Holy Spirit still has work for me and still speaks through me and my life.  I will not let some small minded bureaucrat in some small office in Switzerland decide for me when I am no longer useful to my world. 

So listen up people!  Life is never done until you close your eyes for the last time and only G-d knows that date.  Until then don’t listen to those who belittle you for being older.  Stand up and be counted among the partners of G-d.  Never stop learning; open a book, learn a new trade, start a new career.  Our bodies may no longer let us do the physical work we once did but that doesn’t mean our minds have to diminish. Apply your hard earned years of wisdom to those who need it most.  We, who have walked many rocky paths, have much compassion, justice and mercy to offer those who struggle in this world.  Offer your wisdom and enthusiasm for life to them, they will be grateful.  By the grace of the Holy Spirit we are a force to be reckoned with if we recognize the power we have in the life we give to others.  Don’t waste it by sitting in that offered rocking chair; life is too precious for that.

Ruth Jewell, ©October 8, 2012

This I Believe

  1. All of us have a God-given purpose
  2. The Holy Spirit, Christ, God will not abandon us, we, however can abandon God
  3. We are not a people on the edge of death, we are a people leaping into life
  4. If we have faith in who we are and who we will become in the name of the Divine, we will succeed
  5. As we re-member with God we learn who we are meant to be
  6. Change hurts
  7. Letting the Divine lead us is not easy because we have trouble ‘hearing’ Gods voice
  8. Learning to ‘listen’ for the voice of God is hard work, but practice makes perfect and each time we try our ‘hearing’ gets better
  9. Fear is the little killer that will keep us from hearing and following God
  10. Fear is always disguised as a ‘rational’ voice that tells us if we try anything new we will fail, it is too hard, no one will follow us
  11. Fear puts barriers between us and God
  12. Fear is the servant of our own Ego
  13. Ego wants only to rule, not serve
  14. Ego manipulates us and those around us
  15. Ego creates fear so it will be safe
  16. Ego must always win
  17. When Ego wins, God loses
  18. Miracles happen when we ask for them and when we believe they will happen
  19. Miracles aren’t just big-ticket items, they are the everyday occurrences where we see little step-by-step gains
  20. Hope  is born when we see little miracles
  21. Faith grows when we accept God is with us on our path
  22. God does not live somewhere ‘out there’, God lives within me, us, and within each and every living thing
  23. God answers prayers, maybe not the way we expect, but, if we listen we will hear the still small voice
  24. God is lonely sometimes
  25. The Divine wants us to call on Her
  26. The Divine wants us to use Her to succeed on our God-given path
  27. The labyrinth is only one tool many have used to call on and connect with God
  28.  There are many others tools that open us  to God
  29. The  Holy Spirit is moving within us and calling us onward to a new life
  30. Fear  disguised as ‘sound advice’ puts the Holy Spirit in chains
  31. I will not fear, I will free the Holy Spirit to live in my life
  32. I have  faith we will succeed because … I believe in miracles

Ruth Jewell, ©October 1, 2012

TIME

TIME … slippery, shiny, rushing, dark, twisted

TIME

a burst of light and … a universe is born … TIME
a world circles a yellow star, light, to dark, to light – TIME

plants grow, fruit ripens … decay – TIME
a babies first step, a grandmothers delight – TIME
work, sleep, work, not enough … time

                     STOP . . .

I want this moment to be
I want to just BE –
I want this moment to last,
let me BE right now,

right here,
not moving …
I scream as —

I slowly fall into the next moment of time

Ruth Jewell, ©September 23, 2012

Eleven Years: September 11, 2001 – September 11, 2012

Eleven years is a
long time to bear the pain
that never goes away

Eleven years is a
long time to remember the
screams of sorrow, pain, WHY

Eleven years …
drifting away in time
held close in the heart

Eleven years of
not forgetting the lost,
but learning how to live

Eleven years of
discovering all our sorrow and letting it grow sunflowers
instead of burying ourselves in grief

Eleven years on
a path to opening our hearts to all in pain,
rather than closing our souls to those in need

Eleven years … a
healing time just begun,
life rises from the sorrow, resurrection from grief.

Ruth Jewell, © September 11, 2012

Let us not forget but grow from our grief into better beings for a better tomorrow

Soulful Nature

Today I am offering not a prayer of my own making but rather one offered to me in my time of stress by a good friend. Soulful Nature is a Lakota Prayer that has brought me some peace. I hope it finds a place within you to offer you rest.

Soulful Nature

Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery,
teach me how to trust my heart,
my mind, my intuition,
my inner knowing,
the senses of my body,
the blessings of my spirit.
Teach me to trust these things
so that I may enter my Sacred Space
and love beyond my fear,
and thus Walk in Balance
with the passing of each glorious sun.
~Lakota Prayer~

The Sacred Space is the space between exaltation and inhalation.
To Walk in Balance is to have Heaven (spirituality) Earth (physicality) in Harmony

A Swarm of Angels

YouTube
On Eagles Wings by Michael Joncas 1979
Sung by Josh Groban

Psalm 91:9-12
9 Because you have made the LORD your refuge,
the Most High your dwelling-place,
10 no evil shall befall you,
no scourge come near your tent.

11 For God will command the angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.

Date: Wednesday August 15, 2012
Time: about 4:30 pm
Place: the office of Dr. Michel X

Dr. X: well, the ultrasound of your left carotid artery shows it is 80 to 90 percent blocked and I really don’t know how you have missed having a massive stroke. I want you in surgery tomorrow, so I am scheduling you for 9 am at ES hospital.

For a week now I’ve been trying to articulate what the events of August 15th -17th have honestly meant to me and with the greatest of difficulties I am writing now. For the last week I have responded to the news of emergency surgery and questions about it with a joke or a laugh as if it was just an everyday occurrence. It wasn’t and I know that. What I do know is for the last 5 to 6 years I have complained of several physical symptoms to a series of medical specialists and none of them correlated the symptoms with a blocked artery in my neck. In the last 5 years I have traveled extensively, had several medical procedures done, including surgeries, actively exercised and I NEVER HAD A STROKE. So what I am trying to understand is why me. What or who kept me protected.

When Dr. X came in to tell me I could go home he said “the blockage was so bad the blood flow in your left eye was reversed, you are so lucky to be alive and not incapacitated by a stroke.” I don’t believe ‘luck’ had anything to do with. I believe someone(s) was watching over me.

The hymn “On Eagles Wing” written by Michael Joncas in 1979 is based on Psalm 91 and Isaiah 40:31 and that hymn and Psalm popped into my head on Thursday morning just before surgery. Ok so you might say, it’s not so unusual for a person well versed in theology to think about a favorite hymn or a comforting piece of scripture in times of stress and maybe your right. Life is often about where you put your trust and the path your thoughts take in times of crises. But I will tell you this that when I let go of my fear and give it to that invisible, but tangible presence, I not only feel protected, I am protected. The trust I place in the Holy Spirit is not the kind of trust that says I’m going to be a millionaire, a celebrity, or live a life of ease. Those are things I might want but not need. The trust I’m talking about is trusting that what I NEED will be there, not what I want. It is also recognizing that what I think I need isn’t always what God thinks I need and that again comes down to the difference between “I want” and “I need.”

God needs me to follow the path laid out by Jesus and that is to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly beside my God. That is my model for living. I must admit I don’t always follow that path. It seems I am always drifting off one side of the path or another and when I reach a fork in the road my ego is strong enough to take the wrong one. Such wanderings do make it difficult on the Holy Spirit in guiding me back to the path, the Great Divine is telling me all along the way back “if you had just gone the way I told you to this would have been a lot easier.” Problem is I’m not a good listener and I have a really poor memory. But, just as many people I do come home to the shelter of those comforting wings eventually, most often in times of trouble. Last week I came home real quick!

I don’t want you to think that simply giving into what I believe God wants will make my, or any, life easy because it won’t. In fact if I really follow the path laid out by Jesus, my life will have a heck of number of pitfalls, road blocks, crises, and just plain hard times. The thing of it is I probably won’t notice those hard times. I will see instead the joy of being a partner in God’s creation, the smiles on the faces of those who never had a friend before, and the satisfaction of knowing that something wrong has been made right. Its knowing life isn’t about me, it’s about being part of the plan, about feeling the presence and hearing a swarm of angel’s wings knowing I am just a small cog in a huge plan to bring everyone under the shelter of those wings.

I am grateful to be here to write this, I pray all of you will feel and hear your own angels as they guide you on your own path. May the grace of God go with you

Ruth Jewell, ©August 22, 2012

Morning Prayer

Refuge

All surrounding Spirit,
just as we are, we come to praise your name.
We bring before you all that we are,
the good,
the not so good,
and the things we’d rather not talk about.
We come knowing you will forgive us,
showering us with your grace and love.
As children in the faith we come
with hurts to be healed
and as adult partners in creation we come
to offer our gifts for the growth of the Kingdom.
As children we long for your arms for comfort
and as adults we search for your face to be renewed in our efforts to grow stronger in our faith
and when we come in truth we are never disappointed in what we seek.
Our prayer is to be steady on the path that leads to truth,
forgiveness of others and for ourselves,
humbly laying at your feet
our love in the Spirit.

Amen.

Ruth Jewell ©August 12, 2012

The One Body

Ephesians 4:1-16, 1 Corinthians 12

Last week I received an e-mail, not a strange event in and of itself, but this was a message written to one person who then passed it on to me and a number of others because the sender felt the content was both interesting and important. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever received an e-mail that has passed around from person to person? I would bet you have! Now just suppose all of the other e-mails sent out were lost and only my message survived. Anyone coming after me and reading my e-mail would think “ah, this is a letter to Ruth, and for that reason my name becomes attached to that e-mail forever. Well that is what most theologians believe happened to the Letter to the Ephesians. It is believed this was a circular letter sent out to many congregations but the only one to survive is the one directed to the congregation in Ephesus.

Now that doesn’t change the fact that what is written Ephesians is any less important, but it does mean every community Paul was writing to was having issues about what it meant to be unified as the body of Christ. It also means this letter has a lot to say to us as Christians in the 21st century about how we are called to be unified as One in the Body of Christ.

I have always loved the idea of being part of a body, a community, and all the metaphors derived from a body image. A number of years ago now I enjoyed a skit, written by one of my former pastors, about the rebellion of body parts. The outline of the skit was the foot became tired of taking orders from the head and quit listening to it, then the hand and the rest of the bodies parts decided that they too weren’t going to listen to the head. Well to make a long story short the body kept falling down, smacking itself about, couldn’t get anywhere and was starving because it couldn’t eat. It wasn’t until all the parts began to listen to the head that the body started going places. Places important, you know like the dinner table or reaching out and helping someone else to their place at the table. Of course we all laughed at such a silly sight and thought how clever our pastor was for writing this play. But the important message wasn’t about how silly the premise was rather it was the message we all need to have a coordinating force in our lives, a message provided by Paul in 1 Corinthians 12 and right here in Ephesians 4:1-16.

In this scripture from Ephesians Paul is pleading, well actually begging us, to lead a worthy life holding each other in unity, with all the love and compassion, strength and gentleness we can create. What my pastor was trying to demonstrate is we can’t do that without Jesus at the head of this gangly entity we call the body of Christ. We as members of this Body are give gifts to use in building up the many parts that comprise our lives together as community, but we can’t use them without each other. Now I know I’m not an actual a foot, nor are any of you real hands of a strange kind of body. But, in a way we are those very parts and Paul identifies how those parts work, in Ephesians 4 and in 1 Corinthians 12.

You know we are fortunate to be have both of these scriptures because the two together call us to use the gifts given to us by the spirit to “equip the saints for their ministry,” live a life worthy of walking in the way of Christ, growing up in the spirit, and no longer being children, but rather mature members of the entire body of Christ. Wow that’s a big job and it would be difficult for any one person to do all of those tasks to keep the body growing. But no one person has to, or is supposed to do it all by themselves. That’s the beauty of being part of the community, the body of Christ, we work together. Paul is telling all of the churches, Ephesus included, and all who have come along since the first century that working together to bring about the Kingdom of God is way more fun and a lot easier than going it alone. If Paul had had a computer he would be sending e-mails like crazy.

Let me read to you a little from 1 Corinthians 12:

“14 Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot were to say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear were to say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many members, yet one body. . . .

26 If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. 28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers;”

Just as in Ephesians 4 Paul identifies the spirit given gifts to those who follow in the path of Jesus. And, each of those gifts together is important for the body to open up the Kingdom of God to the world. We may no longer be able to see the gifts of apostle or prophet among us but we do have evangelists, which we now call missionaries, and they still go out to those who haven’t heard the good news and through the example of their lives demonstrate what it means to be a Christian.

We still have pastors and teacher who work hard, here at home, to teach the gospel story, guide those whose faith are just forming, and try to keep our communities safe places to worship and praise God. I love William Barclay’s description of pastors and teachers found in commentary The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians; Pastors and Teachers . . .

“(are the) shepherd(s) of the flock of God … who bears God’s people on (their) heart(s), who feeds them with the truth, who seeks them when they stray away, and who defends them from all that would hurt their faith. And (that) duty is laid on every Christian that (they) should be … shepherd(s) to all (their) brethren.” (additions in parenthesis are mine)

That is our task, that is our call, does it mean we are all going to do it in the same way, no it doesn’t. Each of us has our own specific job to do amongst the whole body and if we don’t live into the gifts given to us, then whole body suffers. It also means that we together, the people of our local Churches, Regional Churches, the National Churches and the Global Churches must work together to be the Body of Christ in the world today and that includes uniting in spirit with the many other Christian Traditions. It also means welcoming all to our table people from all traditions just as Jesus did when he welcomed all to his table and to do it in joy and laughter, in pain and in sorrow.

In just over a month I will be starting a semester of study at the Ecumenical Institute at Bossey Switzerland. The Ecumenical Institute is the educational arm of the World Council of Churches and I am honored to be chosen for this experience of a of a life time. John and I will be living in community and learning how to joyfully join in celebration and worship with individuals from Christian traditions from all over the world. So you see the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians and Ephesians has a special meaning for me. I am going to put what I’ve learned here in this culture into practice in a new culture.

But none of us has to move as far as John and I are going just to practice Paul’s words or the way of Christ. We do it in our neighborhoods, the communities around us by living and speaking what we believe. Paul says in verses 14-16

14 We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. 15 But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knitted together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.

It is up to us to show what we are made of, to be the body, to be the movement of wholeness, to do as Jesus would, in our everyday lives. That is all that is asked of us, it seems simple doesn’t it, but it isn’t and we can’t do it alone. We can do it only if we are united in the love of God, Christ, and Spirit; we can do anything when we work together as the one body of Christ.

Ruth Jewell ©August 9, 2012

Endings and Beginnings

Yesterday was a day of endings and beginnings. At 12 noon I finished my last class at the School of Theology and Ministry, Seattle University. I still am not quite sure what that means to me but, to the school it means I have completed all of the requirements to complete my Masters of Divinity and actually could graduate. So it could mean that ordination in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) is somewhere around the corner, at least as soon as the all important ordination paper is finished. Or it could mean I am going to enter some other ministry that doesn’t require ordination but is just as important to God as being ordained. My husband, bless his heart for his support in the last 5 years, wants me to spend time with him and the critters that live with us. Actually I think he has an ulterior motive, such as taking over cooking and housecleaning because he’s the one been doing those chores since I began this crazy trip.

But in reality God has already planned, at least, my near future and the near future for John. Graduation and ordination will have to wait because we are going to Switzerland in September where I will study at the Ecumenical Institute in Bossey Switzerland for four and half months, pursuing a graduate degree in Ecumenical Studies. For those of you who don’t know about the Ecumenical Institute, it is the educational arm of the World Council of Churches. Students from all over the world come to study the history, theology, and ethics of ecumenism as they live, study and play with each other in a unique community at Bossey.

This is a great honor the School of Theology and Ministry (STM) is giving me, because they and the Disciples Council on Christian Unity are sending me on this amazing adventure. It is a gift I did not expect and one I would not have pursued on my own because at 65 I believed younger people should have this opportunity. But my school, denomination, and yes God, believe differently.

I still cannot tell you what I make of all of this, but Jesus says “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust in me also.” (John 14:1) If Jesus says don’t worry, I guess I won’t worry. You might be saying this isn’t what most Disciples would say, and you just might be right. But, in the last five years (actually it’s more like the last 13 years) I’ve learned a thing or two about patience and trusting in God’s time rather than mine. God can be persistent when I am reluctant to go in a particular direction. This is the reason I waited until I was 60 before I started this degree! God kept asking, I kept saying “you’ve got to be kidding” and went and did what wanted. But, God is very patient and keeps pushing even when I say no. Let’s face it God just wore me down! Now I am about to do a new thing, yes I know I’m plagiarizing from Isaiah, and the reason is God says this is the path I want you to take, and quite honestly I’m just not going to fight this one, besides who turns down a trip to Switzerland. I will trust that God has some plan for my return and even though I don’t know what that is I am certain I will have something to do.

So what did I mean by “endings and beginnings?” Well, I may have ‘ended’ my time at STM but I am ‘beginning’ another adventure without knowing anything more than it is a beginning. It also means that even for someone who is at the age of retirement there is always something new just around the corner. You simply have to trust in the process of life God has so graciously gifted us with.

One thing I know is I want to take all of you on this adventure with me and I will be blogging about this trip through my time at the Ecumenical Institute. This is way too important to keep to myself and way too much fun. I need to share my thoughts and this is as good a place as any I know of. I would ask that you keep me in your prayers as John and I travel and live in a new environment. We will do the same for you as you travel your paths. Life can be funny, it has many twists and turns, it can be risky and somewhat scary but I guarantee it is never boring.

Peace to you

Ruth Jewell, ©July 21, 2012

Promises!

filled to the brim

Isaiah 43:5a Do not fear, for I am with you

Promises!

The Lord said:
She created me, formed me
Tells me “Don’t fear”
She calls me by name and I am hers
I will not be overwhelmed
I can walk through all dark shadows,
and dangerous paths,
I will not be harmed
She ransomed me, bought me
Rescued me from my enemies
Because, She loves me, . . . ME!
I will not fear because GOD is with me

©Ruth Jewell, June 26, 2012 Continue reading Promises!