A Swarm of Angels

Posted on by a quiet walk

YouTube
On Eagles Wings by Michael Joncas 1979
Sung by Josh Groban

Psalm 91:9-12
9 Because you have made the LORD your refuge,
the Most High your dwelling-place,
10 no evil shall befall you,
no scourge come near your tent.
11 For God will command the angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.

Date: Wednesday August 15, 2012
Time: about 4:30 pm
Place: the office of Dr. Michel X

Dr. X: well, the ultrasound of your left carotid artery shows it is 80 to 90 percent blocked and I really don’t know how you have missed having a massive stroke. I want you in surgery tomorrow, so I am scheduling you for 9 am at ES hospital.

For a week now I’ve been trying to articulate what the events of August 15th -17th have honestly meant to me and with the greatest of difficulties I am writing now. For the last week I have responded to the news of emergency surgery and questions about it with a joke or a laugh as if it was just an everyday occurrence. It wasn’t and I know that. What I do know is for the last 5 to 6 years I have complained of several physical symptoms to a series of medical specialists and none of them correlated the symptoms with a blocked artery in my neck. In the last 5 years I have traveled extensively, had several medical procedures done, including surgeries, actively exercised and I NEVER HAD A STROKE. So what I am trying to understand is why me. What or who kept me protected.

When Dr. X came in to tell me I could go home he said “the blockage was so bad the blood flow in your left eye was reversed, you are so lucky to be alive and not incapacitated by a stroke.” I don’t believe ‘luck’ had anything to do with. I believe someone(s) was watching over me.

The hymn “On Eagles Wing” written by Michael Joncas in 1979 is based on Psalm 91 and Isaiah 40:31 and that hymn and Psalm popped into my head on Thursday morning just before surgery. Ok so you might say, it’s not so unusual for a person well versed in theology to think about a favorite hymn or a comforting piece of scripture in times of stress and maybe your right. Life is often about where you put your trust and the path your thoughts take in times of crises. But I will tell you this that when I let go of my fear and give it to that invisible, but tangible presence, I not only feel protected, I am protected. The trust I place in the Holy Spirit is not the kind of trust that says I’m going to be a millionaire, a celebrity, or live a life of ease. Those are things I might want but not need. The trust I’m talking about is trusting that what I NEED will be there, not what I want. It is also recognizing that what I think I need isn’t always what God thinks I need and that again comes down to the difference between “I want” and “I need.”

God needs me to follow the path laid out by Jesus and that is to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly beside my God. That is my model for living. I must admit I don’t always follow that path. It seems I am always drifting off one side of the path or another and when I reach a fork in the road my ego is strong enough to take the wrong one. Such wanderings do make it difficult on the Holy Spirit in guiding me back to the path, the Great Divine is telling me all along the way back “if you had just gone the way I told you to this would have been a lot easier.” Problem is I’m not a good listener and I have a really poor memory. But, just as many people I do come home to the shelter of those comforting wings eventually, most often in times of trouble. Last week I came home real quick!

I don’t want you to think that simply giving into what I believe God wants will make my, or any, life easy because it won’t. In fact if I really follow the path laid out by Jesus, my life will have a heck of number of pitfalls, road blocks, crises, and just plain hard times. The thing of it is I probably won’t notice those hard times. I will see instead the joy of being a partner in God’s creation, the smiles on the faces of those who never had a friend before, and the satisfaction of knowing that something wrong has been made right. Its knowing life isn’t about me, it’s about being part of the plan, about feeling the presence and hearing a swarm of angel’s wings knowing I am just a small cog in a huge plan to bring everyone under the shelter of those wings.

I am grateful to be here to write this, I pray all of you will feel and hear your own angels as they guide you on your own path. May the grace of God go with you

Ruth Jewell, ©August 22, 2012

Promises!

Posted on by a quiet walk
filled to the brim

Isaiah 43:5a Do not fear, for I am with you

Promises!

The Lord said:
She created me, formed me
Tells me “Don’t fear”
She calls me by name and I am hers
I will not be overwhelmed
I can walk through all dark shadows,
and dangerous paths,
I will not be harmed
She ransomed me, bought me
Rescued me from my enemies
Because, She loves me, . . . ME!
I will not fear because GOD is with me

©Ruth Jewell, June 26, 2012 Continue reading Promises!

June Thoughts

Posted on by a quiet walk

“And God saw that it was good.”
Genesis 1:18b (NRSV)

June is the month of the summer solstice, Mid-Summer, a time of picnics, camping and celebrations of the earth’s abundance.   But here in Washington it never seems very celebratory to me.  After all we have only just begun having warm weather and I always think it’s unfair that the world is turning to winter before summer even begins.   Here in our beloved northwest summer often comes and goes before we even have warm weather, fall and spring are often non-existent and, winter rains and snow hang on with a vise like grip.  We often seem to be just a little out of synch with the rest of the country; warm when everyone else is cool and way too cool when everyone else is scorching.  What’s worse is if we wait 15 minutes everything will change around us.  What was the creator thinking when She formed the American Northwest? Our changing land and weather must bring great joy and laughter to the Creator.

Yet when the sky clears and the sun shines in a canopy of blinding blue we know the special blessing of our home.   We live in a graced land of diversity.  Mountains so high they have snow on them all year, yet deep within their hearts lies the fire of the planet; ground that seems solid beneath our feet yet can shake like a bowl of jelly turning our world upside down. Inviting looking lakes so cold with water from snow melt you can’t swim in them for very long without protection.  An ocean with depths that hide a treasure of animal life found nowhere else like giant octopus nearly as intelligent as we are and whales and salmon of course, can’t forget the salmon.  So I guess God knew what she was doing when she created the magical land we live in.  Each season whether they be hot or cold, wet or dry, cloudy or blinding sun bright gives character, beauty, challenges, change and balance,  . . . life to the place we call home.

The summer solstice, longest day of the year is a time to enjoy the beauty of life in abundance.  Yet it is also the beginning of shorter days and the slide down to winter rains, and snowy days.  The creator never wants us to be bored; always there is change in the air.  The rich smell of roses will change into the smell of wood smoke on the wind and icy blasts will bring the smell of snow and rain down from the mountains; all to be repeated next year.  Change, is what keeps us alive and on June 20th the Earth will begin again to tip away from the warmth of Mother Sun.  But today celebrate the light, revel in the warmth, for tomorrow change will come, to the mountains, the sea, and the land.  Enjoy today the smell of fresh mown grass and roses and listen to song of the robin and of water falling over rock. Tomorrow will bring more change, so live in the moment, enjoy the now, and wait with breathless anticipation for the change that comes tomorrow.

mid-summer

The smell of roses fill the air
and Iris dance in the twilight
of Mid-summer evening
Children race through
the meadow, rings of daisy’s
crown their heads
Creator smiles
blows blessing on the wind
bringing
forgetfulness
of winter past

Ruth Jewell ©June 2012

WATCH DOG

Posted on by a quiet walk

Come in old friend
It’s time to rest you feet
And let the ghosts pass by
Come in and rest your weary body

Lay your head in my lap
Let me stroke your soft ears, and
Feel your loving heart …
Beat

Come in Old Friend
Rest by the fire, and
Dream of days long past
As the flames dance in your eyes

Ruth Jewell ©April 15, 2012

Snow Storm

Posted on by a quiet walk

The world is cold, white and dark
a soft blanket drapes over tree,
bush, and building
a small bird stops at the feeder
fluffed out to keep the warmth in

I may be blessed by a warm house
but my brother sleeps in an alley
cold, wet, hungry
my sister huddles in a doorway
wrapped in a worn blanket

We are not so different
my sister, my brother and me
except by circumstance If things were just a little different
I would be alongside them, sharing our warmth

Who ordains who is blessed and who is not
why do we,  . . . my sister, my brother . . .
walk such different paths
what choices made by us, God, or others
led to this place in our lives

Some say God punishes
I say we choose how we live
I thank others sometimes make our choices for us
I believe God cry’s every time someone
huddles in a doorway

©Ruth Jewell, January 18, 2012

NEVER FORGET

Posted on by a quiet walk

1 Corinthians 1:7-9 Just think—you don’t need a thing, you’ve got it all! All God’s gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that. (Italics mine) The Message

Wow, I just read this as the scripture for my morning meditation and the last sentence just jumped out at me and took my breath away.  G*d, the one and the only, the great I AM set ME, little ol’ ME, on this path, I am astounded that I never thought of it that way before.

Like most people I have enough of an ego to believe that what I do is all my own thought and that often gets me into a whole lot of trouble.  Yet here Paul is telling the people of Corinth, and me, that G*d started this crazy trip and, even more amazing, that same G*d will never give up on me.  Even when I screw up, or tell G*d “no I think I’ll do it my way,” which usually ends up badly, G*d is still there to pick up the pieces, wipe the dirt off my face and place that all important bandage across my wounded heart.

This is the season of Advent and I must admit it is not my favorite time of the year.  Most of my family times their deaths for this part of the calendar, in fact today, December 2, 2011, is the 42nd anniversary of my father’s passing.  So I have some personal issues for a time of the year when most people are excited and filled with joy.  Yet this passage of Paul’s gives me hope.  I do not think it was a coincidence that I chose to read this passage from The Message instead of the NRSV version and I am grateful for the Presence’s help in directing my hand as it passed over the Bibles on my bookshelf.   I could have chosen a version that would have said something a little different and more ‘traditional’ and then I would have just gone on with my day.  But, this passage is more important than I thought.  I am not alone on this journey, G*d will not forget me, no matter where my path leads me the Holy Presence will be there to support me and give me guidance, isn’t that amazing.

In the past two weeks I have received news that could change the way my ministry will happen and knowing that G*d will be along for the journey makes this scary new section of my path a whole lot easier to anticipate.   I know the Holy Spirit is guiding me and that Christ is there to pick me up when I fall and when I get frightened or simply tired G*d will be there to hold me in the palm of her hand and comfort me.  I also know when it’s time to celebrate G*d, Christ, and Holy Spirit will dance through the night with me and we will sing with great joy.  Paul writes “G*d will not give up on us,” and even though I know I will sometimes forget I know G*d won’t and that is all I need to know.

©Ruth Jewell, December 2, 2011

First Sunday of Advent

Posted on by a quiet walk

Isaiah 64:8 Yet, O Lord, you are our Father: we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.

November 27th is the first Sunday in Advent, and Advent means waiting. Now that we have stuffed ourselves on good food, and reveled in the company of family and friends we will have to wait for that magical moment when we remember the Birth of Jesus.    I have often wondered what God felt at the moment when woman and man were created.  I have watched potters and I know there are many false starts and mistakes, did God have that problem.  After a long day of trying maybe God got tired and put aside the project until that magic moment.

The Potter’s Wheel

God placed the lump of clay
Onto the wheel, and said
“What will I make today?”

Slowly the wheel turns
Picking up speed
God’s hands surround the cool slippery mass.

Slowly a shape takes place,
Maybe a vessel, for holding light ….
Water …  Air … Fire …?

Something to hold love?
Something to hold compassion?
I’m tired, it will wait until tomorrow.

Ruth Jewell, ©November 12, 2011

Prayer

Posted on by a quiet walk

 

The leaves have faded
From gold to dry dusty brown.

The wind blows cold and drear
Chilling me to the bone.

How long my Lord
Will I sit in the shadow of your anger?

Will I ever see the light of dawn,
warm on the horizon?

Forgive me, Holy Spirit,
For I fear losing your warm presence.

I pray for the day
When you will come and hold me again.

Ruth Jewell, ©November 12, 2011

“What are you seeking?”

Posted on by a quiet walk

Genesis 37:15 He [Joseph] came to Shechem, and a man found him wandering in the fields; the man asked him, “What are you seeking?”

The Search

I searched along a dusty road
Not knowing what I’d find.
I met a farmer, old and gray
And asked him if he knew.
He raised his head and spoke through age,
“Look to your heart and you will find what it is you’re seeking.”

I searched along a highway.
Tall buildings hiding what I looked for.
I saw a man who taught in schools of ivy
And asked him if he knew.
He turned and looked through eyes dark and deep,
“Look to your mind and you will find what it is you’re seeking.”

I wandered on, puzzled as to meaning.
Heart or mind?  Just what was I seeking!

I searched along a gentle stream
In the middle of a meadow
“Both heart and mind”, a voice called out,
A voice both young and old
I turned to see a man of years
Yet one that was not worn.
“Give from your heart love and hope,
With knowledge and understanding.
For in giving to others you will find
That which you are seeking.”

Ruth Thompson-Jewell, Written about 1980, ©August 15, 2011

I wrote this at time when I was doing a lot soul searching and not quite sure what I’d find.  I never once thought my journey would last quite so long or take me to places I couldn’t have imagined.  Since this poem was written I’ve passed through some dark tunnels only to come out into the sunlight. 

At the time I thought I would never survive and that my journey was taking an awfully long time to complete, so long that I even considered shortening it.  But now as I look back my time in the dark was really quite brief, and while the challenges seemed overwhelming at the moment, the perspective of time and space has given me a new place from which to view my past.  I remembered this poem as I listened to the sermon last Sunday (August 14, 2011) given by Pastor Laurie.  She highlighted this verse from Genesis where an old man asks Joseph what he was seeking and then Laurie asks us what we were seeking. 

In fact we all are seeking for something and each of us believe our journeys are so unique that no one will ever understand them.  I think in reality all our journeys have many similarities and if we were to share them we just might find what we are searching for in the first place, and a whole lot quicker. My journey continues and it is unique for who I am, but as I listen to others who are willing to share their journeys similarities that lead me to answers to questions I’ve asked and new questions that open new doors.  Doors that are leading into rooms and onto paths I never would have foreseen in a million years in 1980!  I have also discovered my journey is not as unique as I thought which is really quite comforting.

It is the last two lines of the poem that I now find the most interesting, isn’t that what Jesus taught?  Giving from the heart, loving and caring for my neighbor, isn’t that the Gospel message Jesus worked so hard and died for.  Over the last couple of years I’ve begun to question just how much I give from my heart, how much more can I give and how do invite others to do the same. These are questions I can’t answer and maybe never will.  There are so many questions, so many doors to open within my heart and in the hearts of others.  Will I, will we, ever be able to open them all?

Ruth Jewell, ©August 15, 2011