“What are you seeking?”

Genesis 37:15 He [Joseph] came to Shechem, and a man found him wandering in the fields; the man asked him, “What are you seeking?”

The Search

I searched along a dusty road
Not knowing what I’d find.
I met a farmer, old and gray
And asked him if he knew.
He raised his head and spoke through age,
“Look to your heart and you will find what it is you’re seeking.”

I searched along a highway.
Tall buildings hiding what I looked for.
I saw a man who taught in schools of ivy
And asked him if he knew.
He turned and looked through eyes dark and deep,
“Look to your mind and you will find what it is you’re seeking.”

I wandered on, puzzled as to meaning.
Heart or mind?  Just what was I seeking!

I searched along a gentle stream
In the middle of a meadow
“Both heart and mind”, a voice called out,
A voice both young and old
I turned to see a man of years
Yet one that was not worn.
“Give from your heart love and hope,
With knowledge and understanding.
For in giving to others you will find
That which you are seeking.”

Ruth Thompson-Jewell, Written about 1980, ©August 15, 2011

I wrote this at time when I was doing a lot soul searching and not quite sure what I’d find.  I never once thought my journey would last quite so long or take me to places I couldn’t have imagined.  Since this poem was written I’ve passed through some dark tunnels only to come out into the sunlight. 

At the time I thought I would never survive and that my journey was taking an awfully long time to complete, so long that I even considered shortening it.  But now as I look back my time in the dark was really quite brief, and while the challenges seemed overwhelming at the moment, the perspective of time and space has given me a new place from which to view my past.  I remembered this poem as I listened to the sermon last Sunday (August 14, 2011) given by Pastor Laurie.  She highlighted this verse from Genesis where an old man asks Joseph what he was seeking and then Laurie asks us what we were seeking. 

In fact we all are seeking for something and each of us believe our journeys are so unique that no one will ever understand them.  I think in reality all our journeys have many similarities and if we were to share them we just might find what we are searching for in the first place, and a whole lot quicker. My journey continues and it is unique for who I am, but as I listen to others who are willing to share their journeys similarities that lead me to answers to questions I’ve asked and new questions that open new doors.  Doors that are leading into rooms and onto paths I never would have foreseen in a million years in 1980!  I have also discovered my journey is not as unique as I thought which is really quite comforting.

It is the last two lines of the poem that I now find the most interesting, isn’t that what Jesus taught?  Giving from the heart, loving and caring for my neighbor, isn’t that the Gospel message Jesus worked so hard and died for.  Over the last couple of years I’ve begun to question just how much I give from my heart, how much more can I give and how do invite others to do the same. These are questions I can’t answer and maybe never will.  There are so many questions, so many doors to open within my heart and in the hearts of others.  Will I, will we, ever be able to open them all?

Ruth Jewell, ©August 15, 2011

MY? JOURNEY

You held me in your arms
You whispered in my ear
“Be not afraid”

You sent me on a journey
my path laid out stone by stone
by You

I walk the path
darkness on one side
light on the other

One path-one journey
many stones-light, dark
moving forward into the unknown

Ruth Jewell, ©August 11, 2011
Submitted to the Abby of the Arts Poetry Party

Deceptive Scriptures

Lectionary
for July 24, 2011: 
Genesis 29:15-28

Jacob Marries Laban’s Daughters

15 Then Laban said to Jacob, ‘Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?’16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.17 Leah’s eyes were lovely,* and Rachel was graceful and beautiful.18 Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, ‘I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.’19 Laban said, ‘It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me.’20 So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.

21 Then Jacob said to Laban, ‘Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed.’22 So Laban gathered together all the people of the place, and made a feast.23 But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob; and he went in to her.24 (Laban gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her maid.)25 When morning came, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, ‘What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?’26 Laban said, ‘This is not done in
our country—giving the younger before the firstborn.27 Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also in return for serving me for another seven years.’28 Jacob did so, and completed her week; then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as a wife.

When our pastor on July 24 read this scripture I was struck by the deception that Laban plays on Jacob and it started me thinking about all of the deception found in scripture.  There is Abraham’s pretending that Sarah is his sister instead of his wife and get’s the host kings in trouble with God (Sarah must have been one hot 100 year old woman for this to happen, but, that’s another issue altogether).  And of course son Isaac has to imitate good old dad with his wife.  Then of course there’s God who deceives Abraham into taking his son up to the mountain to be the blood sacrifice then just blows it off saying, just joking, didn’t think you take me up on it.  And, don’t forget Jacob deceiving his father into giving him the birth right and all of this is only in Genesis.  I’m not going to catalog all of the deceptions our religious fathers and mothers used.

As I have pondered this revelation that my faith is founded on deception I have to also accept that the Jewish and Islamic traditions are also based on deception andAs I look at other world religions deception is common to all of them. Over the past couple of weeks I have been struggling with what that means for my own faith.   When I did a Google search on Deception in Scriptures I find lots of stuff; about half of it is from conservatives who seem to find the deceptions somehow honorable, one fourth is from those who say the recording of the deceptions are the reasons God doesn’t really exist and the remaining fourth use the deceptions to defend their claims that their sister religions are false.

However, I keep thinking I am missing something here and I’m supposed to learn some kind of lesson from all of all this deception.  If I look at the first story of the Creation in Genesis we see no deception what so ever and everyone seems to ignore that.  God creates the universe and everything in it, and then creates man and woman. God tells the two of them everything was created for them so go for it, just take care of this world and we’re good. No trees you aren’t supposed to touch, no snakes in the grass, no original sin, nothing deceptive, just pretty much straight forward and simple. This is a believable story and I like it! God finds her creation good, including man and woman and trusts them to take care of things.  God was only asking that we be responsible
partners with him.  So what happened in chapter 2 were Adam and Eve switched at birth? Somehow we lost our ability to find the good in each other, and, for several thousand years our lives were lived by finding only the bad in each other.

What strikes me is the 4 Gospels of the New Testament seem to reflect the first chapter of Genesis in that Jesus teaches the message that God finds his creation good and all that is necessary for us to see it is do what the first Adam and Eve were supposed to do and that is take care of each other and the planet and we’re good with God.  But, yet again this message gets set aside and we end up finding only the bad side of each other and everything quickly goes downhill.  Why is it that we can’t accept the message God gives when she say’s that creation Is good?  Whenever someone points this out and calls us to return to the message of Genesis 1 we as a people manage to wipe them out, I just don’t understand.

I am wondering does anyone else find this odd about us humans, are we so simple minded that we can’t seem to learn what God has been trying to teach us all these years.  Have the gods of greed and ego so taken us by the throat that we can’t recognize the teachings of God, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha or any of the other innumerable messengers sent to us.  Are we really that stupid?

I’d like to think that in the second creation story when Eve went and ate of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Bad that she was trying to become what God wanted of her and Adam.  But, after eating it she and Adam blow it by not taking responsibility for what they did.  Are we now trying to learn to be responsible partners with God because if we so we aren’t doing a good job of it?  We have the tools to repair this relationship, given to us over and over again by so many messengers all we have to do is learn, so why is it so hard?  I have no answers to these questions and I really don’t know if I have it right or not and I don’t expect anyone else to have the answers either.   I put this out here for conversation only, surely we can come up with better questions than those who only condemn other traditions and those who make the statement “that my faith is the right one and everyone else is wrong.”

As you can see I have been wrestling with this issue for a couple of weeks before I put this out there.  So if anyone else has something to say I have an open mind.  However, please be respectful of others opinions because I’m not sure any of us has the “right” answer.

Ruth Jewell, ©August 8, 2011

A Cell Phone Conversation

“Hello God”, “this is Ruth, I have a few things to talk to you about, do you have the time to chat right now.”  …

“Oh wonderful” …

I’m not really complaining mind you because it is so hot elsewhere in the country right now, but, common on God, while Western Washington is supposed to be cool and cloudy, we’ve only had a few days worth of summer.  If this keeps up, we, the residents of said Western Washington, are going to have moss growing in our hair!”  …

“What was that God; you wanted some place in the North American Continent to be cool.” …

“Well I’m honored you chose us and like I said I’m not complaining, too much, but we are becoming very depressed and our bones are become a bit brittle from the lack of vitamin D so we need some sun.   Wouldn’t a balance be a better choice than our little corner being in the 60’s and gray while everyone else is in the 90’s or 100’s with only blue skies?” …

“I know you control things … what you don’t, not really.”  …

“God how can that be?” …

“OOOOHH, it’s partly our fault, we’re supposed to be partners.” …

“Yeah, I know, some of us haven’t been very good at taking care of this ol’ planet earth.” …

“OK, OK, none of us have been very good at taking care of the earth.”  …

“ aaaannnnddd, I admit I fall into that group as well, we all could do better.  But, the powers that be on this planet seem to be a bit preoccupied at the moment with matters they think are important so what’s a poor person like me supposed to do.” …

“Quit complaining and start working and helping out? Well I guess that would be a start.”  …

“And, start looking after each other instead of beating each other up with whatever is handy.  Now that might be a bit harder to do!  God, it’s just that when you gave us free will some of us choose to use it to gather power into themselves and turn everyone else out into the cold.  The ones who choose to use your free will for the betterment of those around them seem to be getting the short end of the stick and some people don’t seem to be able to use their free will at all.  They seem unable to make choices for themselves. How do we help them?  How do we help ourselves? All I’m asking here is for courage, and enough knowledge to stand up and say and do what is right for those who are unable to fight for themselves.”  …

“Yes, I know you gave us instructions” …

“I admit we’ve never followed them”  …

“But God they seem so hard to do” …

“Wellllll, I suppose we could give it another try”

“But, God, there is one other problem, some of those who are unable to fight for themselves don’t want any help unless they get what the power hungry ones have.  So the problem is how do we get those who have so much they can’t possibly use all of it to share with those who have little and how do we get those who have little to not want all of what those who have too much? The way I see it is that greed on all sides is the real issue and I am not exempt.  Jealousy and envy are powerful emotions that drive all of us humans and I’m not sure how to prevent or at least mediate those feelings.  Where do I find the answers to these questions.” …

“Yes, I know I’m in school to find the answers but all I keep finding are questions and I want some answers. mmmm I wonder if I am getting them but don’t recognize them?  Hmmm, well maybe, but, I could use a little more guidance, just a little,    ahhhhhh …..”

“Hello? … God, … God, are you still there, are you listening to me” …

“Rats, must’ve been cut off.”

Ruth Jewell, ©August 1, 2011

The Eagle

Walking the rocky shore
Cold wind from the Baltic Sea washes over me
On a rocky outcrop she sits
Mysterious black, white crowned head
The Eagle watches me
Follows me as I search among shoals
Calls to me as I
Hunt through blueberries and arctic orchids
Day after day she comes to see what I have found
We have become friends
Talking to each other as the sea rolls nearby
I tell her my time to leave is soon
I tell her I will miss her company
Suddenly, she flies over my head and …
With a final call offers me a gift
A gift unbidden, un-expected,
All the more precious
A gift to remember …
The Eagle who followed me

Ruth Jewell, ©May 25, 2011

Sermon: John 4:5-42

This morning’s scripture just happens to be one of my favorite from the Gospel.  One reason is this story is rich in imagery.  I can see the well, the tired Jesus who watches the woman walk to the well he sits by.  I imagine that the well is surrounded by trees probably olive or maybe a fir-tree and I can smell the dust that still floats in the air from the passing of the travelers.  I can feel the noon day heat and see the woman walk through the heat shimmer on the road as she carries her water jugs to the well. 

Now, I am quite sure you are all familiar with story of the ‘woman at the well’ but let me recap for you, the highlights so to speak.   Jesus is traveling with his disciples because he is avoiding the Pharisees in Judean territory.   Tired, thirsty, and hungry, he stops by a well to rest while his companions go on ahead to search for food for the mid day meal.  A woman comes to the well to draw water and Jesus asks her for a drink.  They end up talking and Jesus awakens something in the woman who runs to the village to tell everyone else.  We have all heard this story hundreds of time and I’m sure you can tell me why this woman is so special and why it was so radical that a Jewish Man, a Rabbi, was talking to a woman, a Samaritan woman.  Think of it this way, here are Jewish men, traveling in a territory that all other Jewish people avoided like the plague and they are even willing to eat their food and drink their water!  Scandalous!   But in the heat of the day, maybe things look a little differently to hot, tired and dusty people.  But more than the individuals of the story I’d like to talk about what this story meant to the community that was hearing it for the first time.

I have been trying to come up with a comparison for today’s time and maybe this might give you a tiny idea of what this journey meant in first century terms.  Suppose you had to travel to Monroe and between you and your destination lay a land filled with criminals, sexual predators, and mentally unstable people, called the Monroe State Prison.  And just suppose the accepted route to Monroe goes around the Prison and takes 7 days  , but, if you went through the Prison territory, your journey would take you 1 day.  Which route would you choose?  Remember the people living in the Prison area are outcasts and to speak to them or get the dirt from their ground on you will make you unacceptable in polite society forever.  Don’t even think of eating, drinking or speaking to the residents.  That was the choice Jesus and his disciple had to make.  Do you now have some idea of just how radical it was for Jesus and his companions to even be in Samaritan territory, let alone speak to someone or eat and drink their food? 

There are Biblical Historians who believe this is not an actual encounter of Jesus and the Samaritans.  That it probably is a reading back into the ministry of Jesus due to a post resurrection Samaritan mission, and the influence of Samaritan converts on the Johannine communities.  That means that someone, the author of John or someone else added a story of the conversion of the Samaritan community by Jesus himself.  The writer wanted to legitimize the Samaritans position within the evolving community of first century Christians.  Does that change the meaning of the story, well maybe, because, for me I think the story has a great deal to do with the  embracing of “the other” even when that “other” was as despised as Samaritans were.  It’s not just about a woman who was the first apostle to a hated people, rather this is about one group of people trying to welcome another group they once found repugnant.   

  The writer of this passage is struggling with the presence of a people who 20 or 30 years before would have been banned from their places of worship but now are part of their community.  People who were really thought of as charity cases in the best of moments.  People they could help so they would feel good about helping someone less fortunate than they were.  People they could say “boy I’m so glad I’m not one of them!”   I’m not saying that it is better to be an outsider, what I am saying, and the writer of John is saying, is there is no difference in the eyes of God between any of us.  This passage is trying to tell two communities, which probably were at odds with each other, that Jesus would have found both sides to be worthy of God’s love and that if  God find’s each side acceptable then why couldn’t everyone in the community. 

The plight of this first century community is not so different from the one we are facing today.  Today we too are struggling as a community with the addition of people from other cultures who bring some new and strange ways of worshiping into our midst.  I am not talking about Queen Ann Christian Church or any specific church, rather I am talking about the wider church and how we as Christians are struggling with welcoming the new ethnic churches into our fellowship of compassion, justice and mercy.  It is often difficult to see God in ways different from ours even when it is enlightening and transforming; but it can also be scary. 

I can just imagine how the members from both sides of the Johannine community felt because I’ve been there.  I’ve been on both sides of the issue of acceptance of the “other,” a little afraid that what I believe will be challenged and at the same time exited that what I believe will be challenged.    If I am honest with myself I have to admit that learning I don’t have all the answers means that I just may not be as secure in God’s love that I thought.  If we all stop and think it is where we all are when a new way of “seeing” God is presented to us.  So first let’s look at how the Jewish Christians visualized God, Christ and Holy Spirit. 

Jewish Christians in the first century were primarily Jewish in nature; they saw their world through the lens of the Hebrew Scriptures as taught by Temple and Synagogue.  That meant that by becoming Christians they had already made a huge transition to a new way of thinking and many felt Christianity should remain as Jewish as possible because that is what they were comfortable with. Do you remember all those arguments about Gentiles between Paul and the Disciples?  

The Samaritans, on the other hand, were no longer purely Jewish and as a result they were not able to worship at the Temple in Jerusalem.   Therefore The Samaritans set up their own place of Worship on Mt. Gerizim and developed their own worship customs, mostly in defiance of Temple authorities. 

So now you have two groups that hated each other being converted to Christianity and entering into community together, each with different ideas about worship, and God.   Wouldn’t you feel threatened?  Wouldn’t the other feel threatened?  Yet there is a conflict here, they’re Christians and that means they are my brothers and sisters in Christ, so they can’t be bad.  Oh it just makes my head hurt to think about it.  Wait a minute both sides say, if you worship the way I do, which is the right way, then we won’t be strangers anymore, we’d be one.  Can’t you just see both sides coming together across a table and speaking those words at the same time?  My head is beginning to hurt again. 

Does this scenario sound familiar, we’ve all been in those places where we’ve been threatened by someone else’s way of worship, yet somehow we also find something wonderful in those moments.  The unfamiliar becomes a door way into a new understanding.  We just have to get beyond our own belief that we are the right ones.  It is a fact that most new Disciples churches are ethnic, and that means that we will encounter new ways of worship and praising God that are different from our own.  As a faith community we are not called to assimilate the other into our way of worship, nor are the others called to assimilate us into theirs.  Rather each community is called to celebrate the life and faith of all and recognize the presence of God in the diverse ways we all reach out to the Divine ones.   

As part of my course work for a Masters of Divinity I am interning this year at a Day Shelter for urban First Nations People, The Chief Seattle Club, and so I work two days a week with individuals that have held a status not all that dissimilar to that of the Samaritans.  They too have been, are, a despised people, a people forgotten unless we discover they have a resource we, the dominate culture, want.   We see them as one people yet I have come to learn just how diverse their cultures are.  Just like the rest of the diverse people’s of the United State the members of the Chief Seattle Club are made up of many different tribes each with their own unique cultures and ways of being.  I have learned much about being a person of faith from being with, eating with, sitting with, and praying with people who have a deep spirituality.  It’s not my spirituality, but I honor the beauty of their hearts because God honors them. 

This week I was asked how I, a Christian, can accept people who may not believe the way I do.  Our discussion was long and involved, at least on his part, I just kept saying what every way you are fed by God and the Spirit is right for you and I honor that.  I am a Christian, I will always be a Christian, but just as Jesus went into Samaritan territory and recognized God’s presence I too recognize God’s presence in the people I meet, whether they are First Nations people who follow their own tribal beliefs, Muslims who follow Mohammad or Buddhists who look for enlightenment through the teachings of the Buddha.  All are children of God. 

In the NRSV version of Romans 5:1-2 Paul says “5Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we* have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have obtained access* to this grace in which we stand; and we* boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God.”  I have some problems with this version, mostly because I don’t like the way the word ‘justified’ is used. 

But I really like the way it is restated in the paraphrase bible The Message:  “1-2By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.”   Yes we as Christian find our way through the Master Jesus, but God has thrown open the doors and as we stand there we discover new spaces where God’s glory is magnified.  So it’s not what we have been used to and maybe it will challenge us.  But, oh the spaces we will discover when we embrace the other.  

I keep hoping we will be better than the first century Christians and open our doors to new ways of visualizing God, finding God in unexpected places, seeing God in people we haven’t met yet. 

Sermon presented on March 27, 2011, @ Queen Ann Christian Church

©Ruth Jewell, March 26, 2011