One Sunday Morning

One Sunday morning
Everything changed
I lost who I was
Found who I am

Who is this new person?
Ten years spent seeking
Only now awakening
Foundations lain down
Fears laid bare

Eyes bright with new paths
Ears ringing with new voices
Mouth joyful with new words
Heart beating a new rhythm

Grace of the Spirit
Surrounds me
Calls me forward
Draws me on

In the distance
The garden beckons

(C) Ruth Jewell, April 2010

RAMBLINGS:

The last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about where this crazy journey began, and how it’s growing. I think I’ve always know I was supposed to do something in ministry; I just didn’t want to listen to what it might be, or accept that I was the one being called. But in the last 10 years or so I’ve learned that God can be very persistent and that saying no gets harder as the years go by. God is very good at wearing you down until you have to sit still and pay attention. I didn’t start listening until that fateful Sunday morning when refusing to answer was no longer an option. I can’t tell you how or what changed. I can’t tell you I knew where it was headed, I just knew it was a different path and I was going. I know that sounds scary but it wasn’t, it was a relief. For the first time I didn’t have to worry about how my story would end because I wasn’t in charge anymore. Now that is liberating. To tell the truth at that moment I didn’t know where this would lead and I still don’t. In fact I don’t know where I’m going with this ramble, this morning I simply re-read this little poem I wrote last fall and in the process of preparing a sermon for Sunday this came out. In the Parable of the Sower God is a bad farmer who sows his seed even in places that it won’t grow. Maybe I was one of the seeds thrown into the gravel and somehow and after much struggle finally took root. Maybe it just takes time for things to germinate, maybe even seed sown in places that appear to be too poor to grow there is hope. I don’t know after all God is really good at asking questions, answers not so much.