Watching

He stands there waiting
A tentative smile on his face
I stand at the door
I smile with tears on my face
Our joyful wedding day.

Today he stands at the window
A tentative smile on his face
I stand in the kitchen
I smile with tears sliding down my cheeks
He is not sure who I am.

Death comes in uncountable forms
Sometimes death is quick
Sometimes it comes slowly with illness
Sometimes it sneaks in with tiny steps
    taking only one part of life at a time.

Death sometime comes with great pain
    for the one dying and the living
Sometimes those who are dying
    do not know it is happening
Sometimes only those watching
    feel the pain.

Death will come to all of us
How we die, how we face death is up to us.
But, when you do not know you are dying
    how do you face the inevitable?
How do those who watch face the inevitable?

He waits for me to speak
So, I call him to have his lunch
We converse, his speech is random until
    he remembers, oh he remembers,
    that long ago wedding day.
We both smile and laugh.

Death in any form is hard on those left behind.
But the hardest type of death is watching
    the one you love die, one step at a time.

Ruth Jewell, ©January 25, 2024

I Thought I saw You

I thought I saw you
down there at the end of the lane.
Was it you I saw
holding a violet to you breast?
Was it you I saw
gazing into the distant hills
with such a far away look?
Were you waiting
for someone you love
to come and hold you?

I thought I saw you
down there at the end of the lane.
Was it you with tears
filling your eyes?
Did I see you reach
into emptiness hoping
someone would reach back?

I thought I saw you
down there at the end the lane
waiting for someone.
I saw you kneel in the grass
with violets all around and
I watched you pray.
As you stand and walk away
I prayed for you.

My spirit reaches out to you,
surrounding you, supporting you,
loving you, sending your heart strength.
It is all I have to offer
I cannot promise
all will be well.
I can only watch and guard.
I can only send courage and walk with you,
wait with you.
I cannot give you all you want.
All I can give, from my end of the lane,
is love and hope.

Ruth Jewel, ©March 16, 2020
Photo: The Guardian of the Woods